Emotional Labour

You know, what I think I’m doing with my divergent theories and my “book,” by complaining about spanking and police, by trying to tell people we are drowning in the toxic byproducts of these behaviours, what I fancy I’m doing is the emotional labour for the whole goddam world.

From my very first formulations, from when I heard someone say, “I hit them, but it doesn’t hurt them,” and I would simply argue – it does! Maybe it doesn’t kill them, but it hurts them. Don’t you know that’s what hitting is for? If it doesn’t hurt them, why hit them? – and that is the definition of emotional labour, explaining to someone that they’re hurting someone, figuring out for them that the hurt they cause is what is coming back to bother them now, in this case perhaps explaining to a parent why their adult child doesn’t speak to them anymore.

Emotional labour is doing someone’s thinking for them in the realm of feelings, right?

But everyone says that, “it doesn’t hurt them,” stuff, at least almost everyone in my white, North American, formerly so also European life – so I’m trying to do it for everyone: it does, you fools. Something is wrong with you, it’s obvious, or it ought to be. It’s what’s coming back to bother you now, in terms of angry fascists the world over melting down into another world war.

You owe me ten million dollars for that judgement, it’s the labour of a lifetime. Labour isn’t free.

That’s real, you aren’t dealing with the bad feelings you ignore with that rather obvious fallacy of consensus lie. You can gaslight your kid, you can all pretend to one another that it’s true – but you can’t gaslight an entire world of repressed childhood righteous rage – that little gem is the product of the emotional labour I have done for you. That’s why I ought to get the big bucks.

Because like in a movie, “Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children,” I can see the monsters. That’s a great metaphor for emotional labour, isn’t it, you can’t see it and it will destroy you, you need me.

That’s a trade-off, when you’re the “strong,” one, you farm your emotional work out, like the social sexual dimorphism we have now, Dad is “strong,” so Mom is “loving,” right? Except Mom is often enough “strong,” enough to beat your ass too, and the kids maybe try, but basically no-one is doing humankind’s emotional labour anymore.

I mean, no-one but me of course, but I don’t imagine I’m the last of God’s Fools quite yet.

But y’all are not letting me do it, y’all are not talking the advice or the lessons. I searched for a definition online to give you, but I saw half of them were the very opposite, “workplace emotional labour,” means suppressing and ignoring your feelings, not planning for them – normal people get a lot of things backwards like that – so half of y’all have worse than no concept of what it is, a backwards one, with your salary in the balance of which you choose.

A lot of things – but my goodness, that’s a bad one, redefining the cure as the disease and vice versa.

And here we are again, at the end of another film, “Legend,” with me begging your sort to let me help you, you know, instead of killing everybody.

Jeff

Sept. 17th., 2024

Everything, Just Everything

Every time I talk it’s an infodump because it’s never enough, and I try not to notice in order to avoid catatonia, to keep moving, but it’s the whole world, everything, so it’s only “true,” while I keep talking because it’s not wrong or a lie until you finish – but the second I stop, it was all flawed, incomplete. Garbage.

It’s never enough because we have no common ground, zero.

I saw an image of a social media post today where some man asked, “If there were no men, who would protect you?” and some clever women responded, “From who?” – and this is true of all of it, the government and their army, the police, “protecting us,” – from who?

There is always some mythical enemy in most of what they say, everything is geared against some, “them,” no matter what they’re talking about, whether there really is any such group or even could be, still, some “they,” are always to be prepared for.

There is hate at the bottom of it, not towards anyone specific in the here and now, maybe, but still,  you know they’re coming: people. “They,” are people, the enemy is people, and you’re not one of us if you don’t intuitively grasp this . . . I know. It sounds crazy; it’s a mobius strip of logic, you’re not one of us unless you hate . . . us. I’m telling you though, nothing else fits.

I mean, “us,” gets parsed, us, but not you, I like you. So we’re innocent of “hating people,” if we like any of them.

It’s everything.

This species hates itself and it is committing a global murder suicide, clearly we have had enough and we can’t take it anymore.

Everyone hates child abusers, in prison, the worst sorts can feel good about themselves when they speak of child abusers – but there’s a trick, the Monkey’s Paw surprise: spanking doesn’t count. No-one is a child abuser because hitting them doesn’t count. You don’t think people hate people?

Imagine hating dogs so much that you beat puppies.

Imagine everybody understands if you do!

Not a thing, because people don’t hate dogs like that. Right?

I’m not making moral judgements, there’s no power there, morality to this animal means punishment, which is abuse, I do not wish to impress this creature in terms of its “morality.” I’m saying it’s suicide, that’s not a moral issue for me, your life is yours to lose if you prefer. But that’s what’s going on: you think people are the enemy, so you’re killing them all, even your doctors and the people who grow your food.

It’s ironic, just short of funny when this species speaks of good and life and then goes home to beat its children: the children and the world feel what you do, and you can make the children forget, or force a recontextualization upon them about it – but you can’t talk the world out of it. There are consequences. It is always sad to hear of some plan to do some good: it doesn’t matter what little good you do if all the children are raised in a violent crucible where the adults prove to each of them that people are the enemy because if even Dad and Mom attack you, what else are we to think?

Of course people hate people if human caregivers attack human children.

What other outcome could we possibly imagine?

In the end, the “help,” is extremely limited, hobbled by the “normal,” business of hating and competing with people instead and the hate is the main revenue stream: the help are the gratuities, the sort of help that changes nothing.

I’m sure you’re arguing, I don’t hate people!

This almost certainly happened to you. You were almost certainly a young child with some sense of your rights that got spanked, so of COURSE you hate people, if you don’t seem to feel it, it should still be your first guess about how you feel because OF COURSE. How not? Why wouldn’t you?

If you don’t hate people after that, I’m offended and I demand to know why, what is wrong with you. Isn’t that probably the Oedipus complex? I’m not the first to suggest there are inherent conflicts in human life, am I?

Even the most violent prisoners hate child abusers, but not your very young self? Am I to assume that we are born thinking that violence to our own young self is “not abuse?”

One, I don’t want to believe it, even about Allistic people, but for the same reason I don’t want to, what’s the point in believing it? Where’s the hope, what’s to be done if that’s the case? That’s like Dark Tribbles, Well, Jim, near as I can tell, they’re born killers! Case closed.

Two, my logical problem with it is, then, so you’re saying spanking does nothing? And again, how does anything do nothing, and why wouldn’t it, and OF COURSE it does something.

And show me your list of all the other things that everyone does all day because it does nothing, what else do we do because it doesn’t “do anything?”

But is it sort of magic, the way it is self-operating, isn’t it, if you’re spanked you have a reason to hate people, if you hate people, maybe spanking – child abuse – seems OK to you – we do it because we do it. Right? That’s hard to argue away, a circle that tight. It’s not something we were argued into, as the meme goes. In this sense, of no change from generation to generation, it sort of “doesn’t do anything,” in that we’ve done it for a very long time and it doesn’t appear to change anything anymore.

But not doing it would have to be “doing something,” then, I suppose, I mean, that’s what I think, that’s often when we find out that what we were doing was indeed “doing something,” making other things happen, when we change – again, falling into the analogy of the psychology of addiction. Also like that though, is we also already knew it all deep down already, sort of, but seeing is a different level of believing, when we change.

Or so I hear.

Jeff

Sept. 5th., 2024

The Autistic and the Blade One, Update: new blog just for it.

I’ve written a short book, the one I’ve been threatening to, I think I’ve stated the idea in a few blogs, I’ve adapted Riane Eisler’s “The Chalice and the Blade,” for spanking and for Neurotype, to rename her social models Neurological Types, Neurotypes instead, and to try to trace the spread of the type and the genes for what Dr. Eisler calls the Dominators, the people “following the Dominator social model,” in their words, through prehistory and history, following their book.

“Normal people,” in mine, Neurotypical people.

I’m trying to let some time pass before I put it on this popular site, I’ve only just finished and just warned Dr. Eisler’s website that I’m up to this, I suppose I’ll give them next week to stop me, of course I don’t expect an answer.

Jeff

Aug. 9th., 2024

Here it is:

https://thespankinggene.blog/

Brutal ND Theory

Before all the normal people get upset, realize that the people representing all you nice normal folks to us Autistics are the Tylenol Moms who want to make sure none of us are ever born again, and the ABA practitioners who torture us as children, realize that I am not throwing the first punches here, not by a long shot.

As brutal as I am about to be regarding your sort, I’m just talking, so you got nothing moral to say to anybody about it until the hate and the torture stops.

 Allism is Human Nature, whether evil, or flawed, or “with a legacy of our ape past,” and with its common fallacies and biases. Allism is caused by spanking, an environment of threat and violence sets Allistic children’s “warrior genes,” to fight mode, making them aggressive. Allistic parents do this consciously, feeling that if their child is more aggressive than the next, that they will have a better life than the next.

Everything about Allistic life centres on this binary, self and Other, they all place themselves among some hostile Other, and justify their aggression by projecting it onto everyone else, they are somehow All the Same, but also Alone in an Hostile World. Allism means the Other is wrong, and also the they are the same, with Allism, we are ALL wrong.

With everything to do with Allism, it gets a smaller name and a smaller explanation, it is only some people, only our people, so for Europeans it is CHRISTIAN We Are All Wrong, Original Sin. I think in the east it is the Buddha who says All Life is Sorrow and we are wrong to still be here. In ancient Egypt, I guess all deserved to die and rot unless they had the earthly power to preserve their earthly bodies for all time, surely there was something wrong with all of them too.

The aggression seems to be the point, both consciously and unconsciously, but along with, whether this makes total logical sense to you, or if it’s only one of those things, you change one genetic thing you get many changes, like they learned with the foxes – other neurological things change. Like they are somehow opposed to evolution, and cannot learn it, and so are entirely non-viable.

If not understanding the world as well as the average wild animal does and so living in constant violent conflict with the world is the price of this adaptation of aggression, then we ought to let it go, go back to being passive, but, it’s a conundrum. “Be less strong,” simply does not compute for them, that is their bottom line, or they think it is, which means the same thing (do you kids understand that expression anymore, does not compute? It means a not sane command, an un-followable instruction for an old TV robot. Nonsense. A command it has no program for).  There does not appear to be hardware support for saying No to Strong in the Allistic brain. At least they don’t let it out into the world if there is.

The best I hear is, Strong AND good things, but that’s clearly not how this gene works. They are making a choice.

About The Chalice and the Blade:

Ten to seven thousand years ago, they turned their back on not some fictional Goddess, but on evolution, on nature and reality. The supremacy of the blade and the stories of spontaneous “creation,” utterly disconnected from any logic or reality,* were the beginning of the end. They insist that things work how they do not and they are not blind to the failure, they seem to see the end coming, but they are utterly blind to their part in it, and to any other possibility.

Simple like that.

Spanking causes Allism, Allism is actuarially R-worded and cannot see natural causality, like spanking, and so it’s over. That sort of a circle is a blind alley and a dead end. This spanked creature learned that words mean nothing and violence is the only logic before they could talk, you try to teach them, they fight you instead, always winning and never learning a goddam thing.

Sometimes I get angry, it’s ultimately frustrating, and declare that they deserve what they are about to get, but of course, every other living creature on this rock doesn’t, and anyway, what’d that guy say, Deserve’s got nothing to do with it. “Deserve,” is part of the lethal mutation that some of us, your humble author, don’t have and aren’t supposed to talk about.

My apologies.

Jeff

July 29th., 2024

The Common Denominator

There are many ways in which child-rearing can be mishandled, many sorts of trauma and many corresponding types of damage that we suffer. As I said earlier, raising children is not what we call a ‘mature science,’ and although we may think it is, in actuality, the scientific method has really never been applied to it. In a sense, I think the old one about the elephant being examined and described by a group of blind men is appropriate –

One man at the elephant’s backside feels the tail and says “an elephant is very like a rope.”

One at the side says “an elephant is very like a wall.”

One at the trunk says “an elephant is very like a snake.”

One feels a leg and declares “an elephant is very like a tree.”

The story has many versions and there is more to it, but the aspect I’m going for here are the several different views from various limited perceptions of one unimaginable thing. I think it’s most likely that the varying forms of childhood trauma may all be aspects of a single, larger thing, and that thing is our belief in punishing, our faith that a process of ‘bringing the pain’ produces good things in us and in the world. It is this belief that helps to make all the forms of childhood trauma either more justifiable, or at least easier to hide.

Psychology has put forth the idea that abuse and trauma are damaging to people, particularly developing people, meaning children. I think this broad idea is largely accepted among the majority. There is a lot of material about it, and types of abuse and its effects are many and well documented. There is no end to the number of the types of childhood damage that can be named, among them, issues of

– Physical abuse
– Sexual abuse
– Abandonment
– Alcoholism and drug addiction
– Verbal abuse
– Emotional abuse

This is not a complete list, and of course some of these categories overlap, and include one another to some degree or other, but it serves to make a point. Again, there are many ways in which child-rearing can go wrong, many types of trauma that can affect us, and many sorts of damage that former children can and do live with, with varying degrees of success.

Much of psychology and personal counselling deals in the details of these particular sorts of problems. There are substance abuse counsellors, rape or incest counsellors and support groups. Often there are very specific things that can be pointed out to people, very specific errors left in the victims’ minds due to the type of abusive environment, or more to the point, many specific kinds of emotional support for the type of feelings that result from it. Of course, these kinds of support and therapies are well informed and well intentioned, and provide a great deal of help for a lot of people. It’s all good. Having said that however, it does sometimes seem that everybody can find one or more of these specific errors in their own childhoods, it can become unavoidable to think that everyone has problems, and if so, that maybe we are getting bogged down in the details, and that all the various forms of abuse might be masking a bigger problem. At some point, it starts to appear that rather than all these kinds of trauma being distinct things in themselves, that they may in fact be various aspects of a larger, almost universal cause, the common denominator in the equation, or perhaps a common facilitator that makes them all possible.

– here’s part #2

The Common Denominator, Part #2