Autism

Jeff’s Autistic Theory of Neurodiversity

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First, all creatures, or most creatures would qualify as “Autistic,” in this theory, it begins with an assumption that all creatures’ neurology is diverse, every which way, within and without orders, families, genus or species, and that most are specific and quirky, and that “Autism,” is not a type, due to it’s diversity, rather, that “Autism,” is the diversity, from which has spring a new type, making humans different from the rest of the creatures fairly recently in geological terms, and the new type is the Allistic Human, with its rather specific typing and neurology.

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I’m afraid I do not know enough about other sorts of neurotype, ADHD, etc., to be clear, but they are likely also a part of the Primal Diversity, TM, and not the new thing, because of the nature of the actual new thing which would restrict the diversity generally.

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This framing is a reversal of the existing, perhaps tacit framing, the Neurotypical framing of the situation in which they are the original sort of human and the rest of the neurotypes are spinning off from them, this is clearly not their trend, to create diversity, but to restrict it, so the idea that Autists, etc., are something new is sort of impossible, we see a history of humanity fighting and burying the new and strange, not creatively throwing up options – that’s actual nature that does that, evolution that does that – and it did already, the world didn’t begin recently.

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The new development, Allism, is an aggressive, dangerous, self-selecting genetic thing, dare I say, a fatal mutation that has destroyed the environment upon which it depended in no more than a few hundred thousand years, maybe in only a few tens of thousands of years, maybe even in only a single ten of thousands of years.

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The evidences we see for humankind’s specific footprint upon the world are very recent and everyone always talks about ‘civilization,’ as something new – except NT civilization still thinks it’s the original form, somehow.

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It must be built in, part of the type, and difficult not to think it for them.

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This is a thing that I will predict, that if it ever occurs to them to search for Allistic genes, or to notice the ones they’ve already found, they will find them appearing at these scales of time, perhaps where the fossil record records changes, beginning maybe when fire was harnessed, and then at three hundred thousand years ago and/or at thirty thousand years ago (these numbers from Wrangham, The Goodness Paradox).

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Maybe even less, I’m open. The evidences of wars would seem like a pointer.

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That’s about it.

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This much seems self-evident, by their own myths, history and pre-history:

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It is the human warrior neurotype, Allism is, and as such, much of their “human science,” is skewed towards aggression and “control,” of something, perhaps also the  most natural sort of thought for the type, and they want to say that they are the original sort of human being, but the rapidity of the destruction suggests otherwise, does this madness look like it could have lasted three million years to you? This attitude? I think we all know, it’s come to its conclusion far sooner than that as warriors’ plans always do.

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This was the first bit of restructuring this idea brought me, it explains the existence of these several neurotypes in a way that fits our evolution in terms of what we do know of history and pre-history, because the world a million years ago wasn’t constant war and environmental destruction and it is now, so the new thing is the active thing, the working, fighting, busy thing, and the Allistics, the regular people of the world absolutely define themselves in exactly this way. In fact, the rest of us are a problem for them because we do not log or mine or war hard enough, or to put it in current terms I do not love: they cannot make any money off of us.

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The next bit the restructuring changed was the “sociopath CEO,” idea, it makes more sense the other way about from here:

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So we are the primordial soup and Allists are the new fatal mutation that may finish our species along with most of the rest of them – and the worst kind of people, the most dangerous, ought to be locked up sorts are not those with social disabilities, but those with social superpowers, the super-Allistics, the ones who can control thousands or millions of people and do. I mean, there is war and environmental collapse, and there are rich people controlling things, so the two may be one thing: they are making them happen. I know, their theory is they only attempt, but fail to control.

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They’re wrong at the very least, and this is them, “controlled.” If they really believed it “didn’t work,” you would expect them to make adjustments and they do not, because in some real way, of course it, “works.” Everything does something. It’s reality, not a videogame where some buttons do nothing.

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This is them, the actual living breathing results of their actual actions, and that they think none of it affects them because they think they would have been this way anyway – again, I’m sorry, it has to be part of their makeup, right? A thing their brains were not evolved to do, to connect the cause to the effect as regards themselves. “Human Nature,” may be built into them, the meme, not the Nature.

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About that, Human Nature.

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Tacit again perhaps, but the existing framing, the neurotypical framing of the situation is this meme, and the first thing it says is, it’s all Humans, we are all the same, somehow – and then if we’re not, that’s a problem, a pathology, but there is a grain of truth. Natures aren’t a thing, it’s not all humans that the meme fits, but it is a real thing, in its proper place, as is often the case, the bad meme indicates an effort, there is something they have been trying to get at that they are calling Human Nature, and despite they get it wrong, that something does exist.

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It’s Allistic Nature they are describing.

With the caveat that a more realistic, less creationist version of a “Nature,” would be a moving target in the real world of evolution, that creatures do have ways of being, perhaps this is a “Nature,” a way of being, but that they simply aren’t static or permanent. In evolution, my Nature is a little different from my father’s, because evolution, because things change. But I still have my way of being, my Nature, I suppose, which has individual elements, but is largely an Autistic nature – and the Allistics’ “Human Nature,” is of course, Allistic Nature.

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Again, I’m ignorant, I don’t know enough to postulate an ADHD Nature and other sorts, but this is the point, that “Nature,” in this sense, means neurotype. There are Autistic Natures, surely Downs’ Syndrome Natures, and Allistic natures and surely others.

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To make Human Nature, you’d have to add them all together, clearly.

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In some senses, that is what “Human Nature,” means, in some contexts it does apparently include every possible trait, as they say, from murder and larceny to selflessness and sacrifice, but this is rhetoric, of course a term that means “anything and everything,” isn’t a useful term, and a “Nature,” with nothing left out tells us nothing.

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But a collective Human Nature would add them all together, would need and use every trait. Inasmuch as their Human Nature is supposed to apply to us all, they also pointedly apply the worst elements to us all, they call the traps of their own deficiencies – neurotypes have superpowers and deficiencies – simply ‘the Human Condition,’ and assure us none can escape. I mean, it’s nice to share your Human Nature with Fred Rogers, not so much with Anthony Bourdain. Much less others that we see on TV a lot.

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I’m saying, since Human Nature isn’t universal, neither is the Human Condition, that that is only the Allistic Condition. I’m saying the neurodivergent have the keys to the universal prison of Human Nature, that it is not universal, that indeed humans exist that don’t have some of these problems and can show the normal folks the way out of them.

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It’s a mess, but that’s the theory.

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And this is where I am coming from when I speak, I am Autistic, this is the neurodiversity from here, this is the Way It Is to me and while as always, I have pride in myself and my thoughts, I don’t think this is what most Autists think – yet, maybe, I hope – they mostly think the stuff with the DEP in it, and that configures as ‘different but equal,’ and seems to accept half of the neurotypical premise when they speak and talks about ‘Autism,’ like it’s a thing and like Allism is just ‘normal,’ not a definable type.

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I can’t really join any of those conversations and I need y’all to join mine instead.

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Don’t we all, though.

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Bah. Autistic Nature. Whaddayagonnado. 😉

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Jeff,

Jan. 4th., 2024

Equal and Opposite

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When we’re doing the “equal and opposite,” thing, the Double Empathy thing, talking about “Autistic goals and values,” as opposed to NT ones, of course, “values,” and “goals,” are generic, content free, they mean whatever they mean to a reader already, and we’re mostly just telling them whatever they already wanted to hear.

I mean, we’re stuck with it, the NT values we are contrasted against have always been that way, just, “values,’ you know, good ol’ values! Everybody loves values! Think “Family values,” if you’re not with me yet.

It’s something I struggle with, fighting generic language is fighting ghosts. They “never said that,” because they never really said anything. Something has occurred to me this morning of Christmas Eve, though, is that this ploy is working, NT society is keeping its secrets this way, but more, they maintain their theory of neurodiversity this way too because we are stuck with it and play along and start talking about “Autistic values,” so that now it all sounds equal and opposite, when in reality, “Autistic values,” means anything and everything except “Allistic values,” just as Allism and Autism define each other, Allism and Autism’s goals define one another.

Also, just as I place Autism as the entire world and Allism as a new and specific thing, the human warrior caste or something – do keep up, this is our science here, LOL – then so too are Allistic values something very specific, while “Autistic values,” would simply be everything else.

Of course, that isn’t right, to put the whole world into a box labelled, “Autistic values,” is it, when we know where they file boxes with that label.

Jeff

Dec. 24th., 2023

The Shape of Things, Part Two

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These were my post-blog comments online, me putting the raw idea of this in context.

700 words to say Autism is not the new thing in the conversation.

Theories are supposed to make predictions if they want to be heard, and I’m not sure it counts as a prediction, but:

Not saying you can poison a person into Autism, but is you could, if, say Thalidomide caused some percentage of babies to show up with something that even looks like Autism, that this model of Neurodivergence would account for it.

The idea is, that since Allism is the new thing, and a very specific, complex, genetic thing, that it may indeed be susceptible to some poisons or other, that is to say developmental interference, or damage.

We at abusewithanexcuse dot com feel that poisons are unlikely to create or enhance things as complex as neurotype, to create a million neurological and genetic connections that add up to a complete model of a human, but quite likely to harm one, needing only to destroy some link in the chain, and not build an entire new chain.

 /2

One big prediction this theory does make, although testing will be impossible, is that they are never going to find the genetic component for “Autism,” because it is not the specific thing, Allism is.

Impossible to test, because they will either say they did or search forever.

/3

/4 was nuthin’

The theory in the Dawn of Everything, suggests, if I consider my idea of Neurodiversity here, that Allism has been manageable for much of prehistory and in much of the world, that humanity cycles into the patriarchal, conflict lifestyle and back out of it again on a schedule of only three or four hundred years.

But it also talked about a sense in academia that humanity is presently stuck on the dark end, and that perhaps Europe has been for some time.

Just giving you what I got about it . . . 😇

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I know what I can say, is that this is theory, I am trying to make our own version of the human story and so our own version, or a better version for everyone, of the human sciences – I am trying to create good guy science, non-patriarchal science.

And the point of that blog, to say “Autism was here first,” it seems pointless, but the point of science, the reason we need the scientific high ground is that without it, our answers to the empty threats of the Moms and researchers are empty also – and they rule the world, their empty reasons win.

With this story, with this science, if that’s what it is, we have an answer for the Autism Moms, is my point, with this structure, and them trying to say, “NOW we’re getting all these Autistics (same as they say, “all these gays nowadays,”), and it’s because Tylenol or whatever, we can say, “No, Mom, this here science says YOU are the thing we have NOW, that you are the new thing, that stuff about Autistics, “now,” has been disproven.”

/6

Jeff

Dec. 14th., 2023

The Shape of Things

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It’s not a completely different story, our origins when we add neurotypes into the theory, possibly the existing story fits whole inside this one, the entire currently held prehistory of our species could be pared down somewhat to be only specifically the prehistory, the genesis of today’s most apparently common neurotype.

Perhaps the whole Man the War Ape, evo-bro patriarchal story is kind of true and real, if not for all of us, but for one sort, perhaps this is not the story of humanity’s emergence from the general population of animals, but the story of Allistics’ emergence from the world of non-Allistic animals, humans included. We are still actually animals after all, there is no true line between Earth’s creatures on that fantastic vector, other than every animal’s discernment between their own self and others. Surely the flamingos’ ideology place them as “different,” from the rest of us too, on that basis.

Ah, I like that.

These efforts always look hopeless when I begin but after the first step, the next one becomes available. I like that, and this is what the existence of different neurotypes does for us, it makes it possible to say things about people without having to slip into a world of ideologies where it has to mean, “all people.” “Slip into,” Allistic world, is what that is, perhaps. I think the existing narrative, our currently held prehistory is Allistic, and “all humans,” makes sense to them, it’s a feature or it comes with other features, part of something they evolved for.

It came up online yesterday, and it’s always good to remember because we are hardwired for creationism (trademark, my idea, an AST idea), that if a thing exists in life, it is because evolution has made a case for it in real life, and Allistic people and the things they believe do surely exist.

But, you know, the world is a big place and gets bigger with everything you learn, and time? Don’t get me started, LOL. There has been a lot, a lot of time. Just because evolution grows a thing, that don’t make it right. There’s a lot of horrendous crap out there, parasites and whatnot.

Yes, that’s right, parasites “out there,” LOL.

Ahem. Never mind.

Not sure it’s coming through, did you get it yourself?

Not a parasite, I mean did you see the structure, the timeline – animals, including humans in our terrible Eden until something changes and the new thing, not “humans,” like we tell it, but Allistic humans appear, Allistics are the new thing, and not to confuse matters, a new thing, perhaps a sort of a creation, I mean of self-directed evolution, these Allistic humans, perhaps in the existing framework often confused with ‘modern humans?’

Snap you back out of the 19th. Century textbook I’m always writing and back to present day reality – Allistics are new. They are not the forever, proper, intelligently designed Human species, the original, no. They are the new kid on the block. There are not “Autistics now,” as the fascists and fascist adjacent like to say. There always were, everything is Autistic, “Autistic,” apparently defines all the diversity that isn’t Allistic.

There are Allistics now, is the point.

Equal and opposite, something is causing these ‘Autism Moms and Researchers,’ and I need a grant. Oh, right. Preliminary evidence, then?

A bit of an insight from writing and talking online last evening, that can we look at the perhaps religious oil execs who ignored the climate, can you look at that probably neurotypical guy, I mean, he doesn’t run his industry alone, can you look at that guy and say, “this seems like a neurotype that has lasted three million years?”

Can you look at the nuclear bomb and say, “this seems like a neurotype that would last three million years?” To poison the Earth for tens, hundreds of thousands of years to win a three year war? This is the OG, tried and true human neurotype? Three million years and looking forward to three million more?

Isn’t it far more likely that this is a new and hardly viable mind that has finished its planet in the evolutionary blink of an eye?

Jeff

Dec. 14th., 2023

Super-Allists, or Actuarial Psychology, Part Two

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The problem ones have social gifts and rational disabilities, not the other way about. I am postulating, in lieu of our sociopath CEO’s a sort of a super-Allist.

“Normal,” to the point of disorder.

I want to revisit the definitions of the antisocial neurotypes mentioned in the first, psychopathy and APD and say that from my own social . . . situation, OK, disorder, from my perhaps asocial neurotype, I want to say that a psycho- or sociopath being charming and succeeding socially doesn’t look different than anyone else being charming and succeeding socially. Honestly, when Allists are speaking among themselves and charming and succeeding with one another, I don’t always understand it, so it doesn’t necessarily always seem authentic and organic to me.

I suppose if there were a sociopath in the group saying the same things and responding appropriately and succeeding in the group, I wouldn’t see any difference at all. And . . . not sure this is cool to say, I’m uh . . . I don’t see how anyone would, I mean if I could grok how anyone knows the difference, I suppose I could do it too. If they are saying and apparently feeling the same things, what is different?

Social success is social success, everyone has to fake it – and you don’t build it for yourself. If a predatory psychopath has a lot of social success, that’s on their whole group, not just them! “Social success,” is not an individual achievement, is it?

Ah there it is, popped up and surprised me – our “psychopath CEOs,” are hypersocial if they over-achieve, more social than the regular Allists, who all seem hypersocial to my sort to begin with. If this is “cold, calculating manipulation,” then their whole crew is almost as good at it as they are, I mean, then cold, calculating manipulation is what brings social success, at least in that group.

But the point, already made without saying so, I’m afraid, is that a monster’s social success is as real as anybody’s, and it comes from their social group – so was everybody, “pretending?” And if so, what’s the difference between that and everyone not pretending, if they’re all doing and saying the same scripts?

I want to shut up and write a book instead. In my world, this is an automatic pop-psych Number One best seller, and I’m giving it away to nobody for free.

Jeff

Nov. 22nd., 2023

T Baby – A History of Illness

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It’s a cliché, that somebody notices an Autistic child or younger person and that’s how the parents find out it’s in the family, that one or both of them are Autistic too, that’s what happened to me, with some wrinkles, the younger person was an adult, and the family communication has not been great.

On a personal level, it answers everything, my being Autistic, or nearly everything, explains much about my life that no amount of reading and learning from the neurotypical world has been able to. Personal matters aside, the concept of neurotype answers a lot about the world too.

So I had one child that seemed like me, and they’re one of us and now I know I am, and they tell me they all are, my ex also, and I admit my ex requires some sort of explanation, and there are a lot of reasons to think they’re Autistic, in fact it’s possible that the only person on Earth who could possibly think they aren’t is me. Apparently, though, Autistics do Allistic stuff all the time as a part of their masking, so despite I may feel ostracized and hated on for my differences as though my ex and kids were neurotypical, it can always be that one’s haters are masking Autists, so who knows.

I guess it’s true that their family seemed . . . stridently white and normal, like they tried too hard, maybe. It always seemed phony and a little desperate, I suppose it could have been masking – but either way, real or feigned, it’s neurotypicality hating me either in person or by remote control. It seems a distinction without a difference from this side of the DEP.

We’ll pause here for the ‘illness,’ stuff this is supposed to be about:

But looking back on my life with this new understanding, I see now that I spent my first nearly ten years in meltdown, with the other kids pushing me over into it if I wasn’t already, but there’s more, I had my own stress driving me to meltdown, health problems and pain – that I have finally processed and verbally confirmed with a sibling to be the result of the most famous toxic drug in history, the morning sickness pill, Thalidomide.

There was a gut deformity, which they described to me back then as an “umbilical hernia,” but which was later revealed to have been extra parts. Seems the umbilicus was a live piece of bowel and was not atrophying and wouldn’t heal, didn’t stop bleeding, or presumably, hurting, and after a month of life there was an abdominal surgery. I can’t say my bowel troubles are due to the drug, or the surgery, but they exist, and I think they’re on the Thalidomide baby list of problems.

I don’t know why they didn’t tell me, why it wasn’t part of the conversation with me forever, why no-one ever said, “you know you’re a Thalidomide baby, right?” It surely wasn’t a secret during my early life when I was an always crying pain the ass, couldn’t have been. I can see why there was never an assessment or an Autism diagnosis though – they already knew what was wrong with me, I guess. Not sure about the secret, or the knowledge of it even, maybe, because we missed the class action suits. Gawd, Mom could’ve used some money, I was a full time job and I wasn’t the only kid. Well, I guess there was no money until decades later? Still, of course, still.

Plus Gawd knows I could have had my health troubles tested for and diagnosed, I bet some of it could have been more treatable. My GP watched my goiter grow and heard me complain and never guessed hyperthyroid, I didn’t learn it until he retired. If I had known I was a victim, it would have been on my “watch for,” list.

So I haven’t seen anything to suggest all Thalidomide victims share a neurotype, that there is one, I mean I don’t think either Tylenol or Thalidomide “create a neurotype,” so I’m still just Autistic in the head and a Thalidomide baby in my gut, my thyroid, and my little AA fingers. My feet are small too. I can’t say that all the appendages were affected, it’s possible that my un-poisoned destiny included a larger member, but apparently I’m within the “normal,” range, and I don’t have to tell you how well within, ha.

Generally, as it would seem with the severely affected, the effect is increased further from the core, my legs get shorter all the way down, and my torso belongs on some fellow of average height. Pure, dumb guess about how it works, just from looking at myself and knowing about the limbless folks and extrapolating – I don’t know that.

A quick investigoogling says there are no documented second generation problems for the children of the Thalidomide babies, this is good news, but I’m not sure how new or good this information is. A paper trashed “Lamarckism,” that doesn’t sound very new. Also, to my mind, the man is having his comeuppance, to say his function doesn’t exist is to say evolution doesn’t exist, basically.

He got trashed by people who had only learned of evolution yesterday, and mostly, people still aren’t really processing it today, see my last many blogs.

Never mind that for now, so far so good, my kids are probably not suffering from Thalidomide – but I’m going to keep looking, and let them know, pending new data.

There is one statistic that is interesting and problematic – they say some thirty percent! – of Thalidomide kids show up Autistic, this is bothersome, I still don’t see how poisoning causes neurotypes. I have to tell myself that the framing of neurotypes is backwards to explain it, that poisons do not create anything, but some of them perhaps damage Allism, is the proper context and the point. Hmm.

In my framing, the Thalidomide damage to my Allism . . . looks heritable, since I have Autistic kids? I mean, my father may have been, my ex may be . . . so my case can’t mean anything, but if 30% lose their Allism through Thalidomide poisoning, and that loss remains, the “Autism,” is heritable? It’s all rather complex.

Again, speculative, never mind, the community will see this as a betrayal, but that statistic isn’t mine and I did not say anything “causes Autism,” I said maybe things hurt Allism – if you have ever read me, you know I see “normal folks,” as the whole problem, and if something harms Allism – please, take it. Tylenol, not Thalidomide, Good Lord.

I mean if your Allism were all that gets harmed, of course.

Then, fill your boots, LOL. OK, fine, it’s a gonzo science blog after all, let’s do this.

Honestly – the statistic is probably garbage and those thirty percent are something, but not necessarily Autistic. I’m remembering the supposed rodent studies and Tylenol – “Autism-like symptoms,” which were simply passivity and/or stupidity, and the “appearance of Autism,” is probably meaningless. I still like my theory, but it is quite possible that this statistic regarding Thalidomide is bogus and no support for it – and the same with Tylenol, of course, those studies I’m already convinced are bogus and no support for my framing, because they are no support for anything.

I suppose all I can really say about it is that the Allists have their framing ready, Autistics are broken, so something is causing them and it should be stopped – unjustifiably, I think, at least contextual only – broken for what? Do we know the  Purpose of Humanity, so that we know when it is being impeded?

 I’m guessing that the Thalidomide scrutiny launched the Tylenol theory, got the idea out there about chemical cause for ‘retardation,’ which included Autism back then, but . . . hey, this was always their less conscious framing perhaps, something is hurting my Allism? (It’s the “strength,” remember, something is hurting their fighting readiness, is the point for them. It’s an existential thought.)

It’s what they are trying to say, but Allism isn’t allowed to be a thing, it’s supposed to be everybody, Human Nature, donchaknow – so now it’s the “Humans,” vs the “divergent,” which means the “pathologized,” instead of just the differences between types, something is harming “Humanity,” not just Allism. It is fantastically frustrating, attempting to speak across neurotypes, I almost understand the Allistics resorting to force about it, reason across the gulf seems impossible, but call it intuition if you must, call it prognostication – but from my side and my neurology, the opposite framing is more intuitive, that Allistics are problematic, so something is causing them and it should be stopped. I mean, functional for what? Do we know the Purpose of Humanity, so that we know how to achieve it?

Just saying, it seems like the Allists think the purpose is fighting, and they think that this is what “Humans,” think, not just Allists, that is to say, they don’t think they think it, they just think it’s the way it is. This is why that no matter what happens, it all seems beyond their ability to stop it, it’s not their mindset, something that could change, it’s “the way it is,” something that cannot. Hmm. Seems like a bit of detail I usually fail to find, that. It’s OK, isn’t it?

IF – only if, I am not convinced it’s even possible let alone has ever occurred, but IF – if you could take a child with no family history of anything but Allism and poison them in vitro in such a way as to produce an Autistic child – do we really claim this level of science, that we have “created,” an Autistic mind? Or would it be a million times more likely that your poison simply derailed the creation of an Allistic one, leaving behind an evolved and pre-existing OG neurotype? Do we think our crude poisons can create entire neurologies, or do we think those already existed and the poison killed something else, as poisons do?

Ha, what this sounds like, where this bit goes – that we think sometimes we can accidentally poison the brain slug that drives us to conflict and war, the warrior neurology as a brain parasite. Again, not saying this has ever happened that we “made” anybody Autistic. I’m only saying if we ever did, I couldn’t assume we broke that person, it would make more sense to me that broke the Allistic process only, and that the Autistic that results is an intact, pre-existing form that is a complete human being.

Again, if and only if any of the statistics regarding higher incidence rates of “Autism,” due to drugs are real and true does any of this logic matter – and even then it only matters to me inasmuch as it makes the case for Allism as a neurotype and a problem and not as the Gold Standard of Humanity.

I do think something created all of the neurologies, of course, but also of course I don’t think it is something as simple a s a poison that creates Allism, it is a very complex combination of things including all the complexity of biological evolution and much human behaviour besides, complete with biological deceptions – but a poison is defined as a simple answer for the complexities of life, isn’t it. It can probably work this way around, some poison or other can probably destroy particular neurologies, why not? At least it looks that way to my neurology.

I’m starting to think it sounds like “Awakenings,” like when I shone briefly in school and eventually fledged, that must have looked like a damned miracle. And I don’t remember those early tough years very well, like it happened to someone else. I think Autistic meltdown maybe explains that memory loss? What happens in trauma stays n trauma or something. My whole unhatched life I worried it was trauma I was blocking out, but there has been damned little corroboration about any trauma that the Allistic world would recognize, it’s all been fog of war stuff, sort of unknowable, the rumour of trauma only. Overload and meltdown makes far better sense.

The memories haven’t suddenly appeared, but at least that empty space has some context now.

This, as usual, is not going according to plan and where I wanted to go next is not where this leads, so I’m going to stop here and sit with this for a bit and post this in the science blog, worry about the personal stuff another day.

Good luck out there.

Jeff Nov. 9th., 2023

Actuarial Psychology

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Carrying on with the idea of Allism as a neurotype with a short spike for actuarial matters, and of Allistic psychology as almost exclusively a matter of the self and not society, I wish to extrapolate something, specifically that we should see problematic personality types along a different vector than the psychology of individuals.

I will need to start with the dictionaries and definitions – it does sound like “sociopathy,” already draws this distinction from psychopathy, I need to check that, plus we’ll have to do Autism/Allism again. Alphabetically, I suppose.

Allism

 – this is understood to be the majority or “normal,” neurotype, often interchangeable with “neurotypical,” but “Allism,” has etymology, “Allo,” is from the Greek for “Other,” and I believe the inference is that it describes a mind that connects with and is concerned with others, with the people around us, but I don’t think we have a list of Allistic traits as such, a definition as such, it is most often explained simply as the absence of, or opposite of Autism.

If there is any list of traits and features, it is most often gleaned through the looking glass, approved Allistic traits are to be found in their pathologized mirror traits among the neurodivergent, such as the name shows, “Autistic,” means self defined or involved, so “Allistic,” means connected, more of a group orientation.

Just Me:

For my part, I have extrapolated things already, and I have theories about Allism in and of itself, I have spent my life trying to understand them, I never knew what I was, but I guess I always knew I wasn’t one of them. For me, Allism is a version of humanity with a “specific set of skills,” yes, meant exactly like the action movie meant it, Allism is humankind’s warrior neurotype, and war is a group activity.

While peace looks more like parallel play.

Autism

 – ha, I only have my own, I’m having a hard time writing down the usual definition for you. “Aut,” is the Greek for self, as in automatic and autonomous, so Autistic is “self –“ self directed, surely self-stimulation created this meme, self involved, in the simplest terms, we don’t listen and do what we’re told, we think we’re supposed to listen to our own minds or something, at least this is why we’re a problem and a thing, we’re not much good in a group project.

There are a lot of health problems that seem to come with it, and they are part of the working definition of Autism, notably verbalization and sensory issues, and as the brain runs the body, that does seem to be a part of one’s neurotype.

Just Me:

For my part, I need to turn the entire edifice upside down and say, yes, “a part of one’s neurotype,” but that this statement in not directional, and that the presence of much variance does not make a type, rather that that the adherence to a specific set of traits is what makes a type, and so Autism is less of a specific “type,” than Allism is, that rather perhaps what we call “Autism,” is many types, perhaps the label “Autism,” or maybe “neurodivergence” in general is the whole gene pool and Allism is the emergent, specific, purpose built “type.” With a rather obvious purpose, mentioned above. A purpose that I would hope humanity will some day abandon.

OK, I’d better crack open a dictionary for these Allistic psychology terms, my intuition is probably wrong.

Psychopathy

 – from the N.I.H (USA):

“Psychopathy is a neuropsychiatric disorder marked by deficient emotional responses, lack of empathy, and poor behavioral controls, commonly resulting in persistent antisocial deviance and criminal behavior.”

–  from somewhere high on Google’s list, place called PsychopathyIs:

“Psychopathy  (sai · kaa · puh · thee) is a common mental disorder. It is characterized by personality traits that include reduced empathy and remorse, a bold and daring personality, and difficulty inhibiting behaviors.

People with psychopathy may deceive, manipulate, exploit, threaten, steal from, or physically harm others. At the same time, they may seem outwardly friendly and well adjusted. This ‘mask of sanity,’ described in the quote above, can make psychopathic people very hard to identify.

Psychopathic traits vary across the population from mild to extreme. In other words, psychopathy is a spectrum disorder, like other well-known spectrum disorders such as autism and anxiety. Severe psychopathy can cause significant impairment and affects approximately 1% of children and adults in the United States today.”

– from Psychology Today (and Good Lord, they’re catty):

 “Psychopathy is a condition characterized by the absence of empathy and the blunting of other affective states. Callousness, detachment, and a lack of empathy enable psychopaths to be highly manipulative. Nevertheless, psychopathy is among the most difficult disorders to spot.

Psychopaths can appear normal, even charming. Underneath, they lack any semblance of conscience. Their antisocial nature inclines them often (but by no means always) to criminality.

Just Me:

– I’ll summarize: perhaps what makes it not the majority type is that psychopaths apparently don’t let public opinion bother them or change their behaviour, one might almost apply the “Aut,” syllable to that, but again, for me, I think that just makes them not, or less Allistic, going with what other people think seems to be an Allistic feature.

As an Autist, I clench at the word “empathy,” but perhaps it’s appropriate for psychopathy to say it isn’t there or is attenuated. For my “just me,” section, I will say that this language is all psychological and ahistorical, or asociological, I mean it refers to people in the present tense, people are used, people are hurt – as often with what I think of as Allistic psychology, there is no attention paid to the future, to the ongoing cause and effect, the reverberations of this hurt through time, I mean, a classic movie psychopath doesn’t worry about the pain the knife causes the victim, and this is the psychological definition – but he doesn’t worry about the future either, about the altered lives that didn’t end, about his victim’s children, he doesn’t worry about generally adding to the misery of humanity and bringing the next apocalyptic reset a little closer. I think?

There’s some of my Antisocialization Theory in there, that you can’t just keep adding to the misery forever, that there is a cycle to it, a point of critical mass and an explosion, or implosion, a reset, the Antisocialization Jubilee like a world war or a total collapse. An actuarial idea, I suppose.

The classic psycho lacks empathy AND actuarial sense, maybe? That ought to have stopped him too. The two things are surely related and connected, and mostly move through the world together . . . or not?

One may be rarer than the other, in some sense perhaps instead they exist in inverse proportion, even, perhaps me and my friends can be tight and caring about one another as we wage war on the world, then we’d have empathy and not be psychopaths, pass for “normal,” and lack only the actuarial empathy – and destroy the world?

But perhaps I digress and I’m so far behind I only think I’m leading. Back to the dictionary.

Sociopathy –

OK, I’m out of date, it’s called Antisocial Personality Disorder now – but maybe only the name has been updated, it just sounds like “psychopathy, only just the bad kind,” more impulsivity, more violence, less disguise. The following excerpts are a little contradictory, it seems a good definition is still a matter of debate.

– from the Mayo Clinic:

“Antisocial personality disorder, sometimes called sociopathy, is a mental health condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. People with antisocial personality disorder tend to purposely make others angry or upset and manipulate or treat others harshly or with cruel indifference. They lack remorse or do not regret their behavior.

People with antisocial personality disorder often violate the law, becoming criminals. They may lie, behave violently or impulsively, and have problems with drug and alcohol use. They have difficulty consistently meeting responsibilities related to family, work or school.”

– from Psychology Today (and again . . . bitchy, I guess, LOL):

“Sociopathy refers to a pattern of antisocial behaviors and attitudes, including manipulation, deceit, aggression, and a lack of empathy for others. Sociopathy is a non-diagnostic term, and it is not synonymous with “psychopathy,” though the overlap leads to frequent confusion. Sociopaths may or may not break the law, but by exploiting and manipulating others, they violate the trust that the human enterprise runs on.”

Just Me:

For my two cents’ worth, again, it’s all present tense, clearly this person doesn’t seem to be worried about what sort of world they are creating with their behaviour, and . . . I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, or maybe me and others of my type, but the speaker, the folks telling me about it don’t address the world of tomorrow either, the way psychology reads to me, mainstream psychology, Allistic psychology only ever sounds like a personal matter, interpersonal at most . . . I’m sorry, I know I’m not landing this thought, but let’s leave it there for a moment. If I can tie the whole thing off, it will because we got there with this bit, leaving this dangling forever is not an option.

If you’re seeing this, we got through it, hang in there.

-OK, sort of. For this, what the hey, I’ve already said it elsewhere. Allism has an attenuated or missing actuarial sense, and I am calling the psychology they have developed “Allistic Psychology,” because it somehow never translates into sociology or what people’s behaviour does to the world, it seems stuck on one’s personal pain, the social aspects, reaching no further than something specific about our parents or our kids. One has the sense that abuse is rare, a minority issue for most, because it is never spoken of in bigger, cultural terms, at least in the future.

Regarding the ‘Psycho and Sociopath CEO’ Theory

I think I hit it already, on route, that it’s a separate matter, whether you have empathy and whether you have actuarial empathy, the vision for the people of the future, right? Empathy is nice, in its way, but it is at best, not enough. We are still creating circumstances that no amount of mere empathy is going to fix, our empathy is extremely short sighted if it can’t deal with a plague, or pollution, climate change, etc., if it seems to be no prophylaxis for conflict and war.

What I really want to get at, only hinted at off the top, is the idea that psychopathy and antisocial personality disorder are not the most useful and productive ways to think about the most callous of our leaders and CEOs, that this pop psych meme isn’t helpful.

I mean, what are we to do, run our Earth-consuming money making machines with more heart? Somehow keep the psychotics out of the destroying the world for money industries? Keep them out of the army?

I think if it were a matter of any minority so small as psychopaths, fixing the world’s problems would be pretty much doable, our problems, I’m sorry, I suppose this is hard to hear when unlike myself you spent your whole life thinking you were normal and that’s good – our problems are because something is terribly wrong with most humans. Even if it were only that we’re too wild or stupid to control a few psychopaths and let them trash the world and kill us all, there would still be something terribly wrong with all of us for that, and it isn’t only that.

I mean really – oh, perhaps I oughtn’t be writing just now after all – stupid wins, doesn’t it? Never mind, that’s not going anywhere. Ha.

The point – the corporate and military worlds are very social, very human, social structures, meaning there are a lot of group dynamics going on, and it’s all about friends and enemies – I think those friends sort of take most neurodivergent people out of the picture as leaders, probably the psychopaths and APD folks too, mostly. I think the leaders are not socially disabled, but perhaps they even have superpowers in that area, and so this theory about a percentage of people with antisocial disorders being our CEOs and leaders is . . . I know, bizarre, but read me, I do this a lot – backwards, totally.

My neurodivergence means something, damnit. Yes, upside down and backwards.

The problem ones have social gifts and rational disabilities, not the other way about. I am postulating, in lieu of our sociopath CEO’s a sort of a super-Allist.

“Normal,” to the point of disorder.

More to come, probably.

Jeff

Nov. 3rd., 2023

The ‘lism, Part Two

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Allism, the majority neurotype, is humankind in warrior mode.

It’s a set of options that optimizes the human animal for its group conflict, which is the standard explanation for the size of our brains, our supposed intelligence, the learning curve of conflict – and that’s problematic, isn’t it, it’s a thing that evolved because the environment changed – but the environment was us, so the environment changed because we changed too. It adds complexity, human social environments do not appear in the fossil record, and while the evidence of conflict is almost the only evidence we have, stone weapons and broken skeletons, that is all there could be, really, so it doesn’t prove much. We don’t get to look and say the equivalent of see it was wet here then and dried out over centuries, we have no corroboration, no physical trace of past social environments, no evidence for social change that would oblige us to explain how it shaped us.

I mean, even if we wanted to, which, this would be us searching for actuarial evidence and knowledge about ourselves – and for most, “Human Nature,” has already answered, made these questions irrelevant – people don’t change. Sure, maybe apes did, mindlessly, in response to the climate, etc., but “people,” don’t, and certainly not for each other. We are apparently controllable, but not changeable.

Again, I’m trying to shout and I think I sound like Goldblum, you’d think I was talking about the menu when I said in the first part, “ . . . the “Human Nature,” in which the Allistic finds us lacking and themselves lamentable but inevitable is really only one neurotype, and one with an off switch . . . ”  – I suppose it’s a different conversation, but this is not really an abstraction, “Human Nature,” – the whole world is structured around, it, I mean politically and legally.

“People don’t change,” is fucking law, despite the obvious falsity of it.

If law acknowledged causality in human affairs, it would disappear. With no static “Nature,” to simply control, a policeman is only hurting people and causing all the same problems as the criminals – which is exactly the case, in my mind. Sigh.

I’m not getting closer to the point, so let’s just teleport there and start again.

“Autism,” isn’t a thing; it’s only an attempt to define “non-Allism,” – but Allism, ironically to an Allist, is a thing, a discreet, heritable, definable thing, with specific traits and functions. It’s counterintuitive, because the numbers are sort of backwards, but Allism is a genetic thing, a variance, a sort of a mutation – while what we call “Autism,” is probably the whole gene pool. No?

So tell me, what are the Autistic traits and functions?

Isn’t every savant different?

Isn’t there a great deal of variety within what we call “Autism,” Autists who work and succeed, and Autists who can’t get out of bed? At some point, you have to give up explaining how everything is “Autism,” except a few things that are part of a much narrower spectrum, and name the narrow bit instead, Allism. Again: what if we are the whole gene pool?

The Allists, with their “Human Nature,” do not speak for humanity.

I mean, they speak, boy, do they speak – but they are not speaking for humanity.

It’s almost the reverse, what they speak for.

But this is the Big Picture: the human gene pool has neurodivergence, which means we always have traits that we can draw upon when the environment changes, active neurotraits and neurotraits in store for what may come, diversity is evolutionary  capital, the more you have, the safer your species is – and Autism is maybe not just one part of it, but it is us trying to name neurodiversity itself with a single label – when the structure is far more clear, simple and true when we say Allism is the label, the individual, discrete thing within the diversity.

I need a metaphor.

It’s like “Autism,” means “not a tree,” and “Allism,” means tree?

I try to say “Autism” is a bush, but no, some Autists are vines, says the community, and it’s sort of fair, fine, we are everything but trees, everything but the tall, strong, can’t see the forest for ‘em trees – so the trees are the thing, the creation, the genetic machines that build themselves out of the gene pool . . . no, I’m sorry, it doesn’t work, really every species of “tree,” created itself out of its previous species’ possibly diverse gene pool, the analogy wouldn’t be “trees,” it would be a single tree species against its genetic backdrop . . . and no easier, no help, we know less about that than about our own backdrop. Let’s try a different tack, go with Jurassic Park, life finds a way.

Is ”Autism,” trying to be a thing? Do Autists select other Autists and seek to outbreed and outlaw other sorts? Not so much, Autism just happens to us and many of us don’t even know about it – but it can’t but help my argument that Allism is the living, genetic thing that it does these things, selects for itself and actively tries to limit the spread of other sorts. On the one hand, it gives us the label – but in many other ways, it wears its label loudly and proudly. They are “just normal,” but rather staunchly so. “Trying to be a thing,” this is a definition for life, for a living thing in evolution – so Allism passes this test and maybe Autism does not?

So why is this hard to say, who am I arguing with? Society knows it is conformist.

We wouldn’t be having this conversation if not for a power differential, if one neurotype didn’t get to declare itself “just normal.” Society knows it is conformist; it just doesn’t know there’s any other way to be. The Allists are apparently everywhere, and they are apparently in charge, so saving anyone or changing the world isn’t about Autistics, or ADHD folks (or POC, or LGBTQIA+), or anyone but them, about their type’s superpowers and disabilities, the rest is . . . I’m sorry, secondary. It wouldn’t matter so much that you’re any sort of challenged, aren’t we all, wouldn’t matter if you were drunk – if you weren’t driving the bus.

Apparently, the only people allowed to drive the bus are the ones who have no idea that they’re disabled.

Hold on, let’s have another restart.

Two weeks later – not happening, what do we say on Twitter, screw it, send. Ha.

Jeff

Oct. 12th., 2023

The ‘lism

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Allism, the majority neurotype, is humankind in warrior mode.

A type is a set of options that customizes the human being for particular uses, particular environments, “neurotype,” refers to the customization, the model, perhaps of the brain, and the majority one is by definition, the one that exists for the majority environment. Look at the world, you ought to be able to infer how most people’s minds are working.

It’s conflict – so that’s your neurotype. I’ll point out: authority is conflict, and it’s ubiquitous. Where there isn’t actual fighting, it’s because the conflict is entirely one sided and somebody is doing what they have been bloody well told.

I feel like that should be all caps or something, not delivered Jeff Goldblum deadpan, conflict is everywhere, but you know, you do you.

You know it yourself, you are generally telling everyone about it yourself, your priorities are not a secret. No-one is in a better position to see it and point it out to you than the original non-Allistics, the Autists by which you avoid defining yourselves, we see it starkly, neurotype VS neurotype, where Allistics try to convert Autistics by entirely Allistic methods, army basic training, or simple torture: Allistics pathologize passivity – this should result in more than a discussion of the relative truth of Autistic passivity, it should make clear that the speaker is aggressive, how else would this work?

If it were aggression that were proscribed, then you’d know that the passive were in charge, in the majority.

The Allistic type is aggressive. If the passive were in charge, the aggressive would be singled out for treatment instead, but that’s not the way it is because the majority neurotype is aggressive and so the boys that fight look good and normal to them and the boys that don’t appear to be a problem. This is why in the past, girls and women have been under diagnosed with ASD compared to boys and men, because passivity is less pathological in girls in this society at this time. Own it, this is you. Strength is essential for life, right? This is obvious.

To you.

The opposite has always been true for me, strength has always looked like life’s greatest threat to me. Obvious – but I never knew I had a neurotype, I did not appreciate the purpose built limitations of my own reasoning. Neurotype is a meta concept, it’s not easy, and until I learned about Autism and neurotypes I could not see the way different things can be built-in obvious to different people. I’m saying, I’m certain that most Allistics haven’t imagined this strength orientation to be anything but obvious to every possible mind, it just appears as a universal truth to them, it’s throughout their science, Nature, rough in tooth and claw and all that – again, as my view of strength as a world destroying scourge did and does to me.

The Neurodivergent, we Autistics, the ADHD, the BPD, etc., we are forced to learn a theory of more than one mind, of neurotype, and this information is vital to our navigating the world, we must learn our type and how it differs from “the rest of the world’s,” but the rest of the world never does, they are aggressive and so conformist. They’re in charge and they don’t have to know themselves if they don’t feel like it, and they don’t. But science must move on, with or without them. There is a structure to all this whether they know it or not. The science and the answers are sitting right in front of us all, in plain view, depending on the brain behind your eyes.

Warrior mode explains a lot. Honestly, you (I’m addressing this rant to the Allistic, or more properly to all who share the Allistic view) just call it Human Nature, but the world is not Plato’s metaphor and Natures, essences of things are not how anything works; the “Nature,” doesn’t exist – but the idea, “Human Nature,” this very much does exist, as a rule in the Allistic mind. The fact of this idea’s ubiquity is a hard truth with disastrous consequences for the world. It is a rule that insures we stay in warrior mode, because it is part of warrior mode to get stuck in warrior mode. A warrior with a short attention span or a queasy stomach for it is not effective, a warrior must be stubborn about it, right to the end. So you don’t call it a mode, and you don’t imagine ways that it could anything but the way it is. Warrior mode is all in.

But it is.

There are other modes, the divergent demonstrate this, and they who have ears to hear may infer what they like, draw the connections they see.

Human Nature is not a “Nature,” those aren’t real – so “Human Nature,” is a neurotype, or the concept is part of a neurotype, I want to say an early, basic part of the thinking of the type, that sets the mode: if you believe in a static “Nature,” then you bring a different attitude into life than if you worried that everything you did pushed the people around you in some direction or other. In warrior mode, you don’t worry about personal development, you are dealing in existential matters, and if people changed, you wouldn’t need to be here. In warrior mode, there is only today and tomorrow, there isn’t room for any seven generations.

“Not worrying about personal development,” manifests in half of Allistic speech, here are popular examples:

What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.

I hit them, but it doesn’t hurt them.

They need to learn about the real world.

People don’t change.

You are not what happened to you, you are your reaction to what happened to you.

If I don’t do it, somebody else will.

You’ll see that many of them are simply direct references to “Human Nature,” or simply rewordings of it, it really does encapsulate the entire suite of thought, even better than Christian Original Sin did, I mean it doesn’t leave anyone out, atheists and scientists can all share it too. It encapsulates and codifies not only the absence of actuarial logic but repeats endlessly that there can be no such thing as actuarial logic. People don’t change.

I have liked to say that it’s when we are, “spanked,” and told that it is not, “bad,” that it does not, “hurt,” us but makes us, “better,” that “we,” must believe or it doesn’t stop, but now I think the ground must be prepared for such basic logic, that indeed I heard it too and remained unconvinced, so that it is perhaps not that “we” are told and convinced, but that we were told and many of you were pre-wired to be convinced. Certainly, I would be surprised to hear of anyone who remembers having a different thought before and changing it.

I mean, I think my actuarial ideas are the same ones I was born with, no-one changed my mind from a previous thought – I’m painting myself into a corner here, I still think the spanking forces a change – just not from as clear a stance as I have, I think maybe the Allistic brain doesn’t have to make the complete one eighty from actuarial operation to Human Nature, I suspect it is born somewhere between and spanking alters the path forward in development, it doesn’t reverse things completely.

Obviously, war is a social matter, an extreme social environment, where in-group and out-group disparities couldn’t be more stark. Social discretion is part of warrior mode.

Ah. I suppose I have assumed that lesson to be part of the spanking too, that when your own brain registers “Ow! That hurts!” and then we are in the scenario at the top of two paragraphs up, trying to make the spanking stop, but our parent is telling us, “This is not bad, this is good, this will make you better,”  then the lesson is to ignore the obvious self-preservation logic of your own brain, ignore the obvious reality that point of hitting is to hurt and instead focus on the social reality of this human telling you that their words are more important than all that reality.

The spanking and the lesson shift you from rationality towards social thinking, away from your own processor towards others – what “Allistic,” means, right.

Theory-wise, it makes some sense for a type to have this capability, and it would seem like a magic power if we could simply turn it on and off by spanking or not, like if we knew that was how it worked, we could turn it on when the aliens attack and turn it off again after, it’s a brilliant genetic option . . . again, assuming war is ever “necessary,” except because of your own selves’ aggression. But as the Davids said, we seem stuck. The soldiers have taken control of the government, so to speak, and they only know one sort of project.

There is indeed an off switch, but you are smarter than Vader’s engineers, you left it off the plans, but this is hope, it is not an ubiquitous Nature that you are this way, and you are only born half so bad, suggesting that within you, long dormant, may yet be that other wolf, the good one.

But this is what Allistic means, warrior mode, which is a sort of hyper ability for conflict / something of a disability to worry about the living, and a hyper sense for social discretion / diminished sense of external realities. It’s not “Human Nature,” these problems, not every “Human,” has them, some have more actuarial sense and less aggression, some see real problems in the world beyond the competitive success of their group – the existence of Autistics and other sensitive sorts proves that everything about the “Human Nature,” in which the Allistic finds us lacking and themselves lamentable but inevitable is really only one neurotype, and one with an off switch at that!

OK, the actuarial disability, the hyper sociality, those are the big two . . . ah. Not the same level of importance maybe, but the language stuff, the empathy and the eye contact, non-verbal “communication.” Here I want to depart sounding smart and scientific, if I ever achieved it, and just say, “non-verbal communication,” is authority, you are simply to obey, what feedback is necessary?

Generally, what was unsaid was only that, “shut up and effing do it.” But also, besides authority, it is otherwise warrior stuff, ninja, green beret stuff, silent running, so no-one knows what you’re up to. Weird to think of the whole population thinking that way, but if you’re all one neurotype, which let’s face it, means mostly common superpowers, but it means that you’re all disabled mostly the same way too.

I mean, sure there’s non-verbal communication, but it’s not non-verbal because that’s the most efficient sort of communication or the sort with the most resolution, I mean it’s not non-verbal, “to communicate,” that you could do out loud. Obviously it’s non-verbal to leave listeners out of the conversation, limit the sharing of the information.

Loose lips sink ships, don’t you know, knowledge is power, because life is war for the warrior.

Jeff

Oct. 5th., 2023

Alone Again, Neurologically

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My mindset, my understanding, Antisocialization Theory, my apparently innate actuarial sense, all these I cannot separate from my life’s path, from what in arithmetic or math would be the Order of Operations, meaning which parts of a complex problem we solve first. The OOO is a standard, so that math is the same every time you do it, and of course the metaphor doesn’t extend that far, only in that with the order in which I learned anything and made my solutions, I have indeed found a different, non-standard answer from most people’s answer.

Of course, in theory there is no official OOO standard for human life, but from where I have found myself, it sure looks like there must be, rather it is so ubiquitous there has been no need to document it, like most people never read a walking or a breathing how-to book.

Stubborn Autistic child, little Aspie supremacist that I must have been, my own developmental issues never suggested to me that maybe my sense of outrage over the “spanking,”  around me – anyone would grant that as euphemism – was part of my . . . I’m going to generically say, backwardness. No matter what a classical idiot I may have been, this was obvious, what this violence was doing to the kids around me and they weren’t “learning right from wrong,” at least they weren’t being pushed to the “right,” side.

And that’s where we leave each other, the world and I, you and I almost certainly.

All those beaten kids joined that world, near as I can see, learned their lessons, joined the mass error and everything is wrong in the world from when we were all children, you and the world have proceeded from this wrong turn forever and I cannot even talk to you. In your world, deterrents are real things that are supposed to change the world for the better while the actual abuse of the punishments are written off as unintended consequences and are not supposed to change the world.

I had two ideas, one, that human minds simply have this mad bias, part of the warrior mentality, the majority human mindset is often, if in other conversations, spoken of as geared to primate group conflict, and two, that the abuse makes fighters of us, an epigenetic effect – this is Antisocialization Theory, which I imagined to explain humanity in general, when I thought I was a one-off freak about it.

Part of my OOO is that I had forty years to ponder it before I ever heard of Autism, AST was supposed to explain us all. Well, except, me, with my saviour complex about it. Things are quite different for the undiagnosed aspie. I say this as a slur, not as an out of date diagnostic term, but to describe an undiagnosed Autist with the processing to mask and pass themself off as “smart and weird and arrogant.” It is easy to see that it would be difficult to keep up the arrogance of the classic disliked aspie person if you had grown up with any sort of a diagnosis, with doctors around trying to repair you all your life, but I had no such support.

I’m sure I was a well known R-word as a child in the sixties, but once I went to school and found my IQ, I forgot all of that. Since I won a few awards in grade one, I’ve basically been an undiagnosed arrogant aspie prick with a better idea about everything you ever thought or did. Apparently Dad used to get fired on the regular for knowing how to do it better than every boss too, or thinking he did.

The point of all that is just to say, I never believed the ball busting, never believed all the adults or anybody else that “I” was the problem, like, I never spent a minute of my life thinking “normal people good,” and me bad, or normal people good and Autistics bad. I have a low self image against some abstract absolute in my mind, but against humans, no, no, sorry, not so much. I don’t believe in your mad cult of punishment and, maybe because, I don’t have that low self image we’re all supposed to have, like we all deserve it. So I don’t see the world the same way up as you do, I don’t think the group knows better than I do.

That means Mom, teachers, doctors. I learned my school lessons, I take doctors seriously regarding medicine – but I give them all a nasty aspie supremacist snort if they try to tell me about children or authority or power or life.

I always felt normal and logical within myself, and it was always “everyone else,” who didn’t, and so still, I don’t see Autism as a medical problem, certainly not as any sort of a poisoning – I don’t even think “Autism,” is the salient collection of traits that needs a word, well everything needs a word, but not as much as the majority collection of traits needs a word, well it has a word, Allistic, but it needs a definition.

I am getting further from my goal here, perhaps it’s time to stop infodumping, cut my losses and run to the end, see how far I’ve missed by.

I have yet to detect any minds that seem to echo mine in a year and some online, the Autists speak the language of the punishment cult same as regular folks do, I mean of course all the usual limits of knowledge apply, no-one can learn what is always hidden, what is beyond the deconstructionist horizon, what is outside of the present episteme. Raised in it, heard it all day long forever and naught else, no blame, Geezuz. Gaslit to death about it, we all are.

But they think “Autism,” is a thing, and sort of accept the normal as normal, as not needing to be nailed down and defined, and they talk about psychology, which for me, it’s all just Allistic psychology to me now, warrior society psychology, written to keep you strong and with nothing to say about a little parental discipline. They speak, like all marginalized groups, of their specific persecution, as though they have an enemy that only persecutes them, as if the persecution is about them.

Of course that’s what the persecutors say, “Autism,” is a problem – but they do say that to everybody, don’t they? Of course it is persecutors in general that are the problem, but again, you all speak their language, not mine.

Don’t you.

This arrogant prick is alone in all the world, pretty much always has been, and it’s getting old. Just get it, humanity.

Yes, the reference is Mendosa, on South Park.

Jeff

Aug. 31st., 2023