Emotional Labour

You know, what I think I’m doing with my divergent theories and my “book,” by complaining about spanking and police, by trying to tell people we are drowning in the toxic byproducts of these behaviours, what I fancy I’m doing is the emotional labour for the whole goddam world.

From my very first formulations, from when I heard someone say, “I hit them, but it doesn’t hurt them,” and I would simply argue – it does! Maybe it doesn’t kill them, but it hurts them. Don’t you know that’s what hitting is for? If it doesn’t hurt them, why hit them? – and that is the definition of emotional labour, explaining to someone that they’re hurting someone, figuring out for them that the hurt they cause is what is coming back to bother them now, in this case perhaps explaining to a parent why their adult child doesn’t speak to them anymore.

Emotional labour is doing someone’s thinking for them in the realm of feelings, right?

But everyone says that, “it doesn’t hurt them,” stuff, at least almost everyone in my white, North American, formerly so also European life – so I’m trying to do it for everyone: it does, you fools. Something is wrong with you, it’s obvious, or it ought to be. It’s what’s coming back to bother you now, in terms of angry fascists the world over melting down into another world war.

You owe me ten million dollars for that judgement, it’s the labour of a lifetime. Labour isn’t free.

That’s real, you aren’t dealing with the bad feelings you ignore with that rather obvious fallacy of consensus lie. You can gaslight your kid, you can all pretend to one another that it’s true – but you can’t gaslight an entire world of repressed childhood righteous rage – that little gem is the product of the emotional labour I have done for you. That’s why I ought to get the big bucks.

Because like in a movie, “Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children,” I can see the monsters. That’s a great metaphor for emotional labour, isn’t it, you can’t see it and it will destroy you, you need me.

That’s a trade-off, when you’re the “strong,” one, you farm your emotional work out, like the social sexual dimorphism we have now, Dad is “strong,” so Mom is “loving,” right? Except Mom is often enough “strong,” enough to beat your ass too, and the kids maybe try, but basically no-one is doing humankind’s emotional labour anymore.

I mean, no-one but me of course, but I don’t imagine I’m the last of God’s Fools quite yet.

But y’all are not letting me do it, y’all are not talking the advice or the lessons. I searched for a definition online to give you, but I saw half of them were the very opposite, “workplace emotional labour,” means suppressing and ignoring your feelings, not planning for them – normal people get a lot of things backwards like that – so half of y’all have worse than no concept of what it is, a backwards one, with your salary in the balance of which you choose.

A lot of things – but my goodness, that’s a bad one, redefining the cure as the disease and vice versa.

And here we are again, at the end of another film, “Legend,” with me begging your sort to let me help you, you know, instead of killing everybody.

Jeff

Sept. 17th., 2024

Everything, Just Everything

Every time I talk it’s an infodump because it’s never enough, and I try not to notice in order to avoid catatonia, to keep moving, but it’s the whole world, everything, so it’s only “true,” while I keep talking because it’s not wrong or a lie until you finish – but the second I stop, it was all flawed, incomplete. Garbage.

It’s never enough because we have no common ground, zero.

I saw an image of a social media post today where some man asked, “If there were no men, who would protect you?” and some clever women responded, “From who?” – and this is true of all of it, the government and their army, the police, “protecting us,” – from who?

There is always some mythical enemy in most of what they say, everything is geared against some, “them,” no matter what they’re talking about, whether there really is any such group or even could be, still, some “they,” are always to be prepared for.

There is hate at the bottom of it, not towards anyone specific in the here and now, maybe, but still,  you know they’re coming: people. “They,” are people, the enemy is people, and you’re not one of us if you don’t intuitively grasp this . . . I know. It sounds crazy; it’s a mobius strip of logic, you’re not one of us unless you hate . . . us. I’m telling you though, nothing else fits.

I mean, “us,” gets parsed, us, but not you, I like you. So we’re innocent of “hating people,” if we like any of them.

It’s everything.

This species hates itself and it is committing a global murder suicide, clearly we have had enough and we can’t take it anymore.

Everyone hates child abusers, in prison, the worst sorts can feel good about themselves when they speak of child abusers – but there’s a trick, the Monkey’s Paw surprise: spanking doesn’t count. No-one is a child abuser because hitting them doesn’t count. You don’t think people hate people?

Imagine hating dogs so much that you beat puppies.

Imagine everybody understands if you do!

Not a thing, because people don’t hate dogs like that. Right?

I’m not making moral judgements, there’s no power there, morality to this animal means punishment, which is abuse, I do not wish to impress this creature in terms of its “morality.” I’m saying it’s suicide, that’s not a moral issue for me, your life is yours to lose if you prefer. But that’s what’s going on: you think people are the enemy, so you’re killing them all, even your doctors and the people who grow your food.

It’s ironic, just short of funny when this species speaks of good and life and then goes home to beat its children: the children and the world feel what you do, and you can make the children forget, or force a recontextualization upon them about it – but you can’t talk the world out of it. There are consequences. It is always sad to hear of some plan to do some good: it doesn’t matter what little good you do if all the children are raised in a violent crucible where the adults prove to each of them that people are the enemy because if even Dad and Mom attack you, what else are we to think?

Of course people hate people if human caregivers attack human children.

What other outcome could we possibly imagine?

In the end, the “help,” is extremely limited, hobbled by the “normal,” business of hating and competing with people instead and the hate is the main revenue stream: the help are the gratuities, the sort of help that changes nothing.

I’m sure you’re arguing, I don’t hate people!

This almost certainly happened to you. You were almost certainly a young child with some sense of your rights that got spanked, so of COURSE you hate people, if you don’t seem to feel it, it should still be your first guess about how you feel because OF COURSE. How not? Why wouldn’t you?

If you don’t hate people after that, I’m offended and I demand to know why, what is wrong with you. Isn’t that probably the Oedipus complex? I’m not the first to suggest there are inherent conflicts in human life, am I?

Even the most violent prisoners hate child abusers, but not your very young self? Am I to assume that we are born thinking that violence to our own young self is “not abuse?”

One, I don’t want to believe it, even about Allistic people, but for the same reason I don’t want to, what’s the point in believing it? Where’s the hope, what’s to be done if that’s the case? That’s like Dark Tribbles, Well, Jim, near as I can tell, they’re born killers! Case closed.

Two, my logical problem with it is, then, so you’re saying spanking does nothing? And again, how does anything do nothing, and why wouldn’t it, and OF COURSE it does something.

And show me your list of all the other things that everyone does all day because it does nothing, what else do we do because it doesn’t “do anything?”

But is it sort of magic, the way it is self-operating, isn’t it, if you’re spanked you have a reason to hate people, if you hate people, maybe spanking – child abuse – seems OK to you – we do it because we do it. Right? That’s hard to argue away, a circle that tight. It’s not something we were argued into, as the meme goes. In this sense, of no change from generation to generation, it sort of “doesn’t do anything,” in that we’ve done it for a very long time and it doesn’t appear to change anything anymore.

But not doing it would have to be “doing something,” then, I suppose, I mean, that’s what I think, that’s often when we find out that what we were doing was indeed “doing something,” making other things happen, when we change – again, falling into the analogy of the psychology of addiction. Also like that though, is we also already knew it all deep down already, sort of, but seeing is a different level of believing, when we change.

Or so I hear.

Jeff

Sept. 5th., 2024