Parents, stop “training” your children

http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/on-parenting/the-co-sleeping-2-year-old/2014/10/14/cd0e33f6-4ff1-11e4-8c24-487e92bc997b_story.html?Post+generic=%3Ftid%3Dsm_twitter_washingtonpost

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7 thoughts on “Parents, stop “training” your children

  1. Pamela Spiro Wagner October 21, 2014 / 12:53 am

    I agree with a pained here, here for those parents who actually had trouble deciding not to continue torturing their two year old daughter to the point of vomiting and asthma every night…my god, how bad does any child have to be before her parents will recognize what they are inflicting on her in the name of caring “training” or in this case “she will never learn to sleep alone…and we will never get a good night’s sleep!” As if they were sleeping well the way they were proceeding at the time by continuing to torture her each night! Thank you for bringing this to our attention.

    You know i read a linked article at the WP about Denmark’s welcome mat for returning Islamic fighters and contrary to many commenters, i was impressed. Way to go! Killing ’em with kindness and increased opportunity and acceptance seems a much safer and liklier to succeed way to go than arrest and suspicion…i just applaud this effort completely…whenever did hatred and as you point out punishment ever solve any social problem. If it doesnt work for children or the children we once were, why in gods name would it work for adults, except in the name, lets admit it, of revenge? But “work” to what purpose and to accomplish what?

    Bravo for your blog i say, bravo!

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    • neighsayer October 21, 2014 / 7:01 am

      I think a lot of folks are sort of aware of the repeating nature of outright abuse, but somehow, “normal” crap like this doesn’t qualify as abuse and so they don’t apply the unconscious need to repeat it to this stuff. Again, abuse and trauma is a natural law, like gravity. It doesn’t matter whether we agree or not. It’s something that happens in the real world, not just in our opinions.

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  2. Caro October 23, 2014 / 1:19 am

    I suppose if TIME OUT works for you – – – so-be-it. I grew up in the 40’s & 50’s and am now 75 years of age. I survived parental verbal & physical abuse and gained a healthy respect for authority of the generations who have gone before me! Tragically, it seems that RESPECT &* HONOR are greatly lacking in many of the ‘young adults’ now! Of course, there are exceptions – but VERY FEW! A quick SWAT on the butt never hurts anything but PRIDE! That is my ‘shared opinion’ and of course, any of you in the WAY YOUNGER GENERATION are free to disagree! Somehow my two children turned out to be healthy, productive servant-oriented adults of whom I am very proud. Neither of them are ME-ME- SPOILED BRATS. And YES, they are in their 40’s!

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    • Pamela Spiro Wagner October 23, 2014 / 3:12 am

      Time-out IS corporal punishment, just implied…think about it; You don’t get a child to go to his or her room and sit there quietly without the threat of worst punishment. So this blog here is definitely NOT about time-out instead of swatting or spanking it is about eliminating time-outs too. And it argues, as I do, that even those times-out and swats that you are so proud of are abusive and cause unseen damage that you may never quite be aware of,…or want to be aware of at any rate. Sorry, but that is what this is really all about…ANd if this blog owner disagrees with me, I am certain he will correct my misapprehensions himself! in the meantime, these are all the opinions of another blogger.

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      • neighsayer October 23, 2014 / 7:10 am

        no, you’re doing great. Timeouts are solitary confinement and it’s in the UN’s definition of torture, also the withdrawal of love isn’t helpful either.

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  3. Pamela Spiro Wagner October 23, 2014 / 7:20 am

    Oh could I say a mouthful here on solitary confinements damaging effects. They use it as a “therapeutic intervention” in mental hospitals. where I have been confined in seclusion rooms for as long as three whole weeks, or in past decades for months at a time. It was horrendous. But the worst was actually just three or four months ago when i was dragged by my injured rotator cuff (a deliberate infliction of pain) by two security guards tasked to do so, to a supermax seclusion cell at a local psychiatric unit, stripped of all my clothing, including my underwear and left to freeze without a blanket or any covering for warmth…Talk about torture, One of the worst things is they deprive you of any human contact or communication and any way to tell time or even know how long you will be kept there. They don’t even tell you why or how long your sentence is…My heart starts racing just writing about this most recent experience…But the thing is, I only became MORE violent and out of control as a result, I did NOT “get better” or more contained or more compliant. Not at all. I started defecating on the floor, and throwing feces at the guards when they approached me., I even defecated on the floor of my bedroom,. I gave up ALL civilized behavior…Why? Because punishment in order to force “good behavior” doesn’t work, it doesn’t work…EVER. And certainly in the name of psychiatric treatment such punishment and torture is an obscenity…I have no other word for it.

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