Proud and Brave

I don’t wanna rock the boat.

Your dreams are your dreams. Your goals, your strivings, you need those, everybody needs those. Don’t spend your life second guessing yourself like I did. Live a life, take something for yourself, kill the bad guys. Have fun. Leave a mark.

Yes, that’s right. Don’t listen to what I said, listen to what I’m saying.

You’ve got marks, don’t you? So what makes anybody else exempt?

Illegitimi non-carborundum, right? Like I say, fight the bad guys. My ruminations have brought me there, this is what you were born to do. OK, you were born to eat leaves and reproduce – but fighting is our human purpose, the one we like, the one we chose for ourselves. Plus, you’re beautiful when you get excited about something, when your pupils get wide and somehow light up with blackness, when you’re focused on some prey.

You’re not gonna see that on some sad old socialist moral complainer like me unless you come to my house and show up with acid or mushrooms.

But call first, OK? Give me a chance to brush my teeth before you get here.



May 15th., 2018

12 thoughts on “Proud and Brave

  1. Scarlett May 18, 2018 / 7:22 pm

    I always thought I should have learned Latin, I looked at that phrase and thought – what’s that Silicon carbide thingy? Semi-conductor? I suffer from literal issues, I think it’s the German in me, you know – the – “aww come on don’t be a tight arse it’ll be fun!” Then off I go thinking of sodomy.

    Er – you’re not going to like my last post – don’t read it! It’s like the antithesis of this but maybe not, my thing is people buy the t-shirt but never get involved, they’ll buy a wrist band to end homelessness and walk over some kid freezing to death on the street – actually they’ll cross the street.

    We need warriors, not the shooty sort but the stand in front of the shooty sorts but people now think unliking and participating in a WoW raid is brave – is Warcraft still a thing?

    This dude who was a friend of a guy I was seeing once told me about this protest he was going to organise in WoW – a peace protest so that in “World of Warcraft” people acted peacefully rather than promote violence. I Eye-rolled so hard I did a triple backflip and he noticed so we had this argument about it, in the end he started crying, the dude was 28 I was 18 I think?

    This kind of thing seems to be everywhere and I used to want to pound these people with my tiny trump like fists. I’d have made a great 2 meter tall 110 kilo bully, alas I’m a small lass and I am apparently supposed to be the opposite and – so on.

    So these days I concentrate on what makes me happy, now that I know what happy is, and living in my own little Mirandaverse, I avoid monsters that would eat me and lose myself in my work. It’s taken me about 19ish years to feel content, alive again and not some horrible thing that comes out at night – mostly.

    The great thing about a science only diet is that fuckloads of awesome things are happening/being discovered or postulated every day and its a way better distraction than the TV or internodes, which I spend less and less time on every week. Of the 300ish people on various blog sites and Social Media thingys exactly 5 are still in contact with me and of the 10ish RL friends I had at the start of that I see exactly 8 but have made prolly 20ish more that I do see. Social media my arse, online community my front bottom.

    I have no idea what the meaning of life is, as far as I’m concerned its do as much and see as much, experience as much as poss. Sure things get rapey or bashy sometimes maybe even carpet bomby but that’s the point of offlinery. Life is a serious comedy, ha.

    Some blood, scars and insults don’t wash off so I’ve stopped trying and they make better decorations than tattoos.

    It’s a funny thing that I can write what I wrote and then come here and say yep – I agree isn’t it?

    I’d love some drugs right now but I’m off for another coffee.



    Liked by 2 people

    • Jeff/neighsayer May 19, 2018 / 10:16 am

      Dude, what the fuck is wrong with German people?

      I haven’t yet, I’ll read that soon. This little blog was intended to be ironic, but honestly, that didn’t work out, this is capitulation, any irony is bluster, I ain’t feelin’ it. It’s the opposite of what I promise my readers. It’s not the first time I’ve lost heart, I still think my optimism in these matters is un-killlable, it’ll be back, meaning, just ’cause I’m sad doesn’t mean I’ve suddenly developed the ability to shut the fuck up, but . . . did you see that silly Will Smith thing, “Legend?” He’s got the answer, or almost, but it’s clear the folks he wants to help DGAF? It’s like that, figure something out that proves it doesn’t matter if one asshole figures something out.

      Yes, learning is a nice distraction. I did it for the first year of this trouble, but these days I can’t read anything longer than a tweet.

      I’m glad to be one of them, I hope I can always find you here, or somewhere. Hey, what about that charming Brit, was it Nightbane? Is he still on your list?

      Yes, that’s the problem with the world, room for everything to be itself and its own damned opposite all at the same damn time or something . . .

      coffee counts. I don’t touch the stuff.




    • Jeff/neighsayer May 19, 2018 / 7:35 pm

      I never learned Latin, that one I got from Mom. I think they may have taught it high school in her day, but it’s still a common expression. Mom read a lot, is all, I think.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Scarlett May 24, 2018 / 12:43 am

        Haha what isn’t wrong with Germans? Literal is the issue, the language is very literal I think that influences the culture and thinking.

        Hearts are made to lose, be broken and refilled, I think that’s the point of having one isn’t it? I think I still have one, although I might have it packed away in storage – until I need it again. Hopefully when I’m more maturerer.

        The book is better, I found I didn’t care for anyone in the Wil smith thing, I haven’t forgiven him for letting me down in Independence day – that film about American flags vs Mexico or something?

        I trashed my twitter account it was my last social media to die, funny thing is someone then promptly took my ID now people I almost know think it’s me.

        I’ll be here, I tried setting up a local WordPress on my laptop, upgraded the system and lost 5 years of archives, oops. Some day I’ll try to resuscitate them, the Thoughts ones, these ones, the one on Blogger and the brief one on Blogster. I have to say Blogster is the worst one I ever went to. Yes Nightbane I have his email too. I should email him soon, I occasionally chat to Kyle and Xander but Michelle (Roses) took a hard right at Brexit and I can’t talk to her any more.

        I don’t really drink, rarely take any drugs – so coffee is my vice now, how the mighty have fallen…


        Liked by 1 person

        • Jeff/neighsayer May 24, 2018 / 7:37 am

          yeah, Roses, I’d forgotten that, hadda let her go. I’ve just gotten over a week’s suspension on Twitter. I noticed it last evening, but I haven’t quite gotten back there yet.

          Hmmm . . . I wonder if I was talking to your dogsbody . . . I don’t recall seeing you on there for several months, so maybe not.

          Will Smith is one of those lovable, charismatic useless dudes, an honourary dockers wearing white dude or something, LOL. Fun and harmless? Between fun and harmless and dull and harmless? But same ending? I haven’t read any scifi, in adulthood, sorry to say. I’m loving this The Expanse show, but I hear it’s been cancelled.

          Liked by 1 person

          • Pamela Spiro Wagner June 20, 2018 / 8:03 pm

            Wow, what writiing, both of you! Had a thoroughly enjoyable time just reading these interchanges. Feel a bit voyeurish, but there you have it. First time I could read and hear the voice behind the writing in a long time. It was delish!

            Thank you,


            Liked by 2 people

          • Scarlett June 24, 2018 / 4:35 pm

            It’s a shame about Michelle – Roses – but it’s like trying to tell an alcoholic they have a drinking problem, you get the try walking in my shoes thing. Which I guess is always a good argument even if your life isn’t that picture perfect either?

            No the girl who took up the account hasn’t tweeted much – or hadn’t – when I saw it. She seems like a fake to me but then I’m always sus on these things, paranoia is this talent I have…

            I had a look at expanse but it never grabbed me, I’m a devoted follower of The Handmaid’s Tale though, and I’m re-reading it for the 2nd time too. To me it’s a lot more likely than a lot of mild sci-fi, I look at religious people and think – yep they’d do it for sure. Is it that different to prostitution or being circumcised?

            I’m also a fan of Westworld, I have this private fantasy about AI being the next step in evolution and finally a step in the right direction. Most people expect a more advanced mind to want to instantly wipe out the rest of humanity but I think that a bigger mind would just go – meh – and take off for the stars – that’s what I’d do if I was immortal.

            Liked by 1 person

            • Jeff/neighsayer June 24, 2018 / 6:39 pm

              I have this attitude that shows like those two are not functioning as warnings but as normalizers. Blatant anti-Trump stuff gets cancelled, but this stuff they have no problem with. Yeah, the Expanse, I’m not there for the depth. Honestly, I haven’t READ a sci-fi book since I was twenty. Canada’s largest province just elected a Trump like figure.

              Liked by 1 person

              • Scarlett June 24, 2018 / 7:30 pm

                Interesting, you could be right there. Hey how about Malaria’s coat – wow. My take on it is that it’s a signal to the red-necks – sure I’m going to see the kids but we are on your side.

                I don’t read stuff that’s too far fetched any more, I get shitty over the shoddy maths and anti-science in it, but a far right orgaisation taking over ‘Murica and forcing women to the bed, kitchen and into illiteracy? Absolutely.

                We have a guy here that just out out a campaign “Make Australia Great” but he’s taking more fire than – um a big fire thing. This will pass no one likes arseholes and once they get in office they fail.


                • Jeff/neighsayer June 24, 2018 / 7:37 pm

                  my take on Melania is it’s classic abuse, picking the woman’s outfit for some purpose of his own. It’s driving me nuts, people blaming her, pretending a purchased wife of his is some autonomous, powerful person with her own agenda. Same sort of “feminism” hurt Hillary so bad, is my take. All these voices on Twitter, supposedly feminists, blaming this “powerful woman” by pretending Trump is a nice guy who lets her do what she likes. As you can imagine, the fembots love me for this.


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