The Second Problem with “Positive Parenting”

Secondly, the concept is prone to changes in language only.

“ . . . by the promise of rewards rather than by threats of punishment.” is the first one in the article that stands out. I see no difference between “If you’re all ready to go to Grandma’s in five minutes, we’ll stop for ice cream” (an offer of reward) and “If you’re not ready to go to Grandma’s in five minutes, we’re not stopping for ice cream” (a threat of punishment). For any reasoning person, this does not constitute any change whatsoever, except in the wording.

“ . . . removal from the situation . . . “ – this is most likely physical, and most likely to be felt as unpleasantness. This is the same as time out, likely the first part of the time out process, and always a situation that might cause a child to resist and fight. If the adult removing the child is committed to their choice of action – and the advice is to be consistent and to do what they say they’re going to do – then this situation is a recipe for physical punishment, or at least a fight. Again, I see no change here from the old, physical “system” and the new, save in words only.

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