It’s not Easy, Letting Your Kids do Whatever They Want

Jeff/neighsayer

It’s what I was trying to say with the title – really, letting them do whatever they want, despite the way the punishers try to frame it – IS NOT EASY. And that’s not why I do it, or anyone should do it. It’s doing it the hard way, the long way, and the right way.

Beating your kids into always letting YOU have YOUR WAY, always – that’s the easy way, the fast way, and the wrong way.

It’s not comfortable either. It was scary, uncharted territory. But it worked.

I see what people say about how things are all going to Hell as being the result of half measures, the result of confusion. The chaos we have going on today in our kids and our teenagers is because of the force we are still using, not because of the gentleness we’re starting to use more.

A lot of thought went into it. I hope you will read my blog. I’m afraid a plan just to “not spank” can’t really work, there will be more decisions to make, or you are likely to end up there despite the best of intentions.

7 thoughts on “It’s not Easy, Letting Your Kids do Whatever They Want”

  1. neighsayer March 14, 2014 / 3:18 pm

    “Not punishing” is NOT “not doing anything.” Not by a long shot.

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  2. truthaholics March 14, 2014 / 4:14 pm

    How about rewarding good behaviour but punishing bad? 🙂

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    • Anonymous March 14, 2014 / 4:48 pm

      morally, they both teach the same thing – to do things for you, it makes everything all about you. It’s the opposite of empathy.

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  3. truthaholics March 15, 2014 / 5:39 pm

    Perhaps, like most things, it’s down to attitude?
    The attitude and interaction of each family member with each other?
    This is a fascinating topic, and indeed, blog, Neighsayer. 🙂

    I guess from a ‘spare the rod and spoil the child’ approach at one end, and laissez-faire parenting with kids running riot unchecked at the other of the spectrum, where to find the ideal, optimum level of parenting is a real challenge, especially for those who agonise about raising their children into responsible, productive, well-adjusted adults imbued with a sense of respect and reverence as well as discipline and hard-work ethic.

    Thank you for such thought-provoking input.

    “At the end of the day, the most overwhelming key to a child’s success is the positive involvement of parents.” ~ Jane D. Hull

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    • neighsayer March 15, 2014 / 6:16 pm

      thank you so much. I think I have a fairly unique perspective, left of both the groups you mention. Regarding the quote, I’d like to make the point that acts of punishing is never seen as positive by the victims.

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