Beyond Feminism

A land beyond feminism, somewhere over the rainbow, that’s where you’ll find me . . .

Kidding, of course.

I got into this in a recent one, the March of Science, I believe, about our human “meritocracies,” yes, sarcasm quotation marks. I am trying to make the point that despite human specialization and the existence of probably thousands of different human skills, there is mostly only one measure for competence in anything, and it is best summed up in the word “toughness.” Normal quotation marks.

I have made allusions at least, to the effect that this measure of violence, aggression and battle-competence colours many areas, and that it is basically another version of what feminists call the patriarchy. Not risking ant sort of quotation marks!

If we can break this down, just what is the patriarchy doing – violence, intimidation, mostly – well, rapists auto-selecting themselves for propagation also – then we have something we can work with, behaviours, education, laws, strategies. If we decide that’s just how men are – and basically allow us to let ourselves off the hook for it – then we are getting nowhere. Of course, nothing is “just how it is.”

I’m sorry.

I understand that every man you ever met was indeed like this. I understand that the only safe stance to have is that we are all like this and not be caught out alone. Of course I would never advise some stupid “trust us” line. We have to change. But that does mean people talking as though that were actually a thing, though, change. To say, “men gotta change” to fix things, and then turn around and say “but they can’t” is some awful bait and switch game that . . . well, how’s it working out so far? We’re not really telling the rapists no-one expects them to change, I hope? That doesn’t sound like the best idea, does it?

I mean if telling and expecting mean anything. That would be some form of nurture, I guess. If it does, then yes, this should be part of our nurturing, that rape has to be actually, functionally illegal!

Now, sex shouldn’t be illegal. Clearly, it’s the force, the intimidation, the stuff we cannot bring ourselves to outlaw about ourselves, gentlemen. That has to be wrong, actually wrong. Like, not, “OK, wrong, but we are your protectors, so you want this,” no, wrong, because this is what we need protection from! It is not better for your female friends, for your wife, mother, daughters, all of them, that a protector, “one of us” raped them and not some “other,” which is all this arrangement ensures, nothing but selecting our own criminals over criminals that belong to some “them.”

That sounds extreme in my dysphemistic way of talking but make no mistake: a common solution for in-group rape has always been marriage. The ladies hate it and rightly so, but apparently the people in charge think this is a preferable situation over women choosing their own lovers and so having the possibility of them choosing an other. In some places, the ladies who cannot tolerate this solution are killed – apparently the folks’ in charge’s less preferred “solution.”

Crimes are activities, not people. You have to agree, that if you use force, if you rape someone, that you should face the law. Do you?

Is whether or not you actually agree a matter of your father’s rapist or not genes?

Nature VS nurture again, really?

No, that wasn’t the point, right! Today’s topic is the ‘toughness is the only meritocracy’ meme. The patriarchy.

It’s exactly what the MRAs and the macho IDW types and the sexist children like Shapiro are stating is foundational, right? It’s also the unapologetic central meme of fascism, if you can, that is permission, might is right, and obviously, when you think that as a society, that’s what you get. But it’s exactly what I’m arguing about, it’s exactly what isn’t really true, at least not until some hammerhead points his gun at you and you must agree, yes, this mindless bullshit is true, not mentioning any names.

I understand we’ve had to abandon attempts at psychologizing our past selves because exactly these fools have commandeered the idea and turned into nothing but a simple machine game theory with no psychology provided or required, that we’ve had to cut off that arm of science to save the rest of the body. I finally get that, I am sorry if I sounded like I was on the wrong side of things. Honestly “evolutionary biological theory” is better anyway. I think somebody ran with calling it evolutionary “psychology” at the start with a view to removing it from science curricula and discrediting it and therefore science (I know, not intuitive, don’t believe me, but simply harping on the term “theory of evolution” has legs, so), generally, leveraging the division between “soft” and “hard” sciences, bring the biologists on board, but really as part of the general anti-intellectual, anti-science stuff. Then when these penis-centric idiots ran with it, everyone else let go and distanced themselves – with me last and lost, as usual.

Like I say, “evolutionary biological theory,” sounds better anyway, even if it does sort of imply the smaller version of “theory,” because in name or not, there is going to be a certain amount of psychology involved. We are trying to understand our clearly psychological selves.

Not a tangent. What I’m getting to is, it’s not foundational, toughness being all that matters and crime be damned, it’s a real part of the psychology, sure – but absolutely not foundational. It is a policy decision adopted to deal with foundational concerns, predation, group conflict, death, and this is exactly what policy is: a decision made earlier regarding foreseeable problems including basic ones, by the boss, maybe that’s you, maybe not – and a policy is not an environmental condition, not “foundational,” at least not to the boss. His option, your “foundation.” If you’re the boss, same – your option, that maybe you call your “foundation.” Policy, the prior decision, now the default stance, all meanings retained – a stance we took, a position we chose.

Choice. Now THAT sounds like psychology, doesn’t it?

This argument almost holds up for lions and tigers and bears, I mean couldn’t we just breed and run like everything else? But no, we wanted to settle down and hold our ground, surely there was a choice somewhere along that journey? But clearly when the threat is us that is our “foundation,” sorry, no choice? I am your threat, we have no choice? We’re back to nature and toxic game theory? No. That was a choice, right there, “I am your threat.” No, you could just run, like everything else. Usually I say “aggression” is a choice, a policy decision; same conversation – aggression is the name for a policy of fight over flight, so “having aggression” means you chose to have it.

This is the difference between natural disasters and human-made disasters: individually, we are as powerless against one as the other. But collectively, we cause one and not the other (OK, at least there are natural disasters we don’t cause, if not all of them).

Honestly, what good are nouns, attributes, “properties,” in Platonic terms?

Hey, there’s this problem I have, we can’t stop the violence. You want to figure that out for us?

Sure – ah, OK, here it is. See, what you got there is “aggression.”

Problem solved! I learned a new noun. Sorry – what was the problem again? Right, violence. And why? Right, aggression. OK, cool, here’s your money, thanks!

Say it again, add a word, can’t stop the male violence – see, what you got there is men.

Terrific, thanks again. The usual price? Automatic deposits alright?

You want to solve something, you look for thoughts, actions, something happening – a chance to possibly intervene. You want to protect something, it’s a noun: sorry, it exists. End of story. It’s another brick in the wall – “Men are aggressive, so you can’t have no rape! How can you have no rape if men are aggressive?”

Like I suggested earlier though, the hammerhead with the gun whose guiding light is violence, he creates this reality. If he and enough of his developmentally arrested friends decide that nothing else but toughness matters, then that signifies the peak of that civilization because almost every other skill humans have will have to be suppressed for the constant antisocialization required for the constant state of war that results. It’s a self-fulfilling policy that way – it’s true when they prove its true.

All I’m saying is, if we didn’t prove it, it wouldn’t be.

That’s our clue that we’re in social science territory, psychology territory, “truths” that must be proven constantly, minute by minute, these are only social truths, and that line is ruling all of our lives, always certainly, but today more clearly than ever, the rational versus the social. Perhaps all of our meritocracies are real, but only rational, and as such, taken with a large grain of salt, while the social meritocracies are few, but far more serious. I mean, sure ladies are clever enough to build you an atomic bomb – but are they crazy enough to deploy it? Or do the fairer sex simply lack the social skills for war?

If only male lions were aggressive, we would still find out how fast we can run every time we saw a cub or a lioness, because they all live together in social groups and the presence of cubs and lionesses means lions also and they would still be a species to avoid generally. Aggressive males means an aggressive species. I believe I’ve seen lionesses rejecting an incoming would-be alpha, I think if there are enough ladies in the pride, they get to select their males – and as things stand, the males are big, nasty bastards. That’s an aggressive species and if the ladies never let a claw out themselves, it would still be an aggressive species – which is maybe how this narrative about us is supposed to go, right? Aggression is the province of men, a property of maleness, not of humanness?

I suppose it would be completely true if all men are rapists, if a substantial portion of people are the children of rape, and so it is true to a degree, because there absolutely are rapists and their children. That’s a problem – I just worry it’s not the only problem, I worry, that not unlike the lions, when our ladies get a chance to practice some sexual selection, we still end up with big, nasty bastards (or little ones that make up for their size with extra nastiness). You don’t think? OK, here it is, at last.

The ’not all men’ urge was very strong with me, I got in trouble a few times on Twitter, trying to defend myself, trying to fight what I felt was the determinism in memes that say it is indeed all men, all men are rapists, all men supposedly agree with this latest disgusting ramping up of misogyny that came online along with Russia, and I lost, and I gave it up, telling myself it truly doesn’t matter if a few men abstain, does it, if they don’t or can’t stop it? But maybe I have a legitimate critique, the above thing:

When the problem is a noun, there is no solution, and no-one expects one, right?

If it’s “men,” all men, then what are we to do, eliminate them? So a feminism that actually believes in a solution, in  the possibility of change might not want to go with that, but the smart folks know that, it’s the other side of that coin that is pertinent today: evil trolls absolutely want that. Misogynist men absolutely want the problem to be a noun, even if that noun is them, because men are never going to implement a solution for that.

So stick to the script, behaviours, laws – rational things – and reject arguments about whole groups of people like “all men,” (and of course reject slander of more oppressed groups also) which is social and so serves the bad guys, who fear truth and rationality above all else.






Oct. 27th., 2019

5 thoughts on “Beyond Feminism

  1. Scarlett November 4, 2019 / 9:24 pm

    You should lecture at uni, it’s a bit wasted on us bloggers here, or is it that all of us who deal with reason are self alienating?

    I was describing the outback to an English friend and saying how after a four hour flight then a 10/11 hour car trip you get out and you’re here. The drone of the car and your mind suddenly has to cope with a kind of vastness you just can’t do justice to with words.

    Some people come out here and it really really upsets them you can see a kind of underlying conflict of reason over panic as people who, like me have lived with a small horizon and proportionally insular life are put to a test. I think I cop because I’ve always loved up as a direction. It’s more than that though there is a profundity in the way the vast makes you contemplate your smallness, and again if you’ve had a life as a thing you somehow don’t implode like someone who’s been the star things orbit (cough – yeah sorry for the pun).

    Anyway to the point – misogyny – a lot of men actually fear things in us that we are often not even aware of and I think it’s vice versa too. Is it the function of the sado/masochistic relationship of men and woman? I don’t care what Greer says it’s innately submissive the ‘act’ and even relationships – the vanilla ones – and some – seemingly most – wierdly – seem to want it that way.

    There was this trans woman on the news here recently who was going to take her school to court for distinguishing between males and females because that upset her. I got to say as an actual owner of s slightly used but serviceable vagina I was kind of insulted that this person who isn’t my gender wants to dictate that gender away from me so it feels better.

    Sure, absofuckingloutly lets do that and not really worry about bigger issues like the maybe 50 years of life left on earth. I know that sounds intolerant but I think the left is sometimes too far into pop issues than fighting for humanity. A lot of that stems from the right being into learning institutions and trying to press their agenda there – there you go I made it to the point eventually – people like you should teach. Because not only do you think you consider and when someone presents you with evidence that might have an effect on your work you actually take that in and process it. If we are to evolve and live – we need that.

    Hope you’re well I’m high 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Jeff/neighsayer November 9, 2019 / 5:04 pm

      yeah, you could be higher, I still can’t keep up!
      I think I would be one of the ones out there in the desert panicking. I dunno.
      Yes, I guess ultimately . we provide both to one another, friendship and opposition. Really, really, REALLY clear to me ATM that I served as bogeyman and enemy to my ex, I mean, almost unbeknownst to myself, but very clearly that was her model, her role, opposer of men, and protector of children, and when I foreswore my role in that scheme, she must have gone ahead with it anyway, telling the kids SHE was protecting them from ME, when in truth it was me stopped the abuse! I’m finding out now, they grew up thinking I wanted to whoop them or some shit and she saved them!
      See, when she wanted some normal shit to happen, dinner, bedtimes, whatever, I would intervene when she started getting upset and coercive, I’d try to explain stuff to her, which would “stress her out” and she must have gone straight to the kids, upset and crying and saying to them, look what your dad did to me. She didn’t need an actual abuser, she would create one from nothing. No wonder I couldn’t understand what was going on, it really was all fiction!

      Sorry, a few times a year, like a heartbeat.

      But yeah, we define ourselves against the other, I suppose, and our role is easier if others stay in character too. I just couldn’t do it, didn’t want it.

      Hope you’re well, M.



      • Scarlett November 16, 2019 / 1:10 pm

        I think it might be that I’m not preoccupied by death any more, or that I’ve always been fascinated by the vastness – the sky – the desert – forests. Even the city to some extent the endless and unknowable.

        Even within people there is a vastness that the apparent clarity of the foreground hides the things in the background don’t you think?

        Wow that’s some pretty fucked up behaviour, do you think there might have been some mental illness there, I mean she sounds mental, like she was either after some masochistic relief or a pity party. I’ve seen that in women but not to the extent that they make up things like that – with women I think it’s easier to get what you want you just have to ask for it or look for it. Sometimes even the wiff of a psycho sets some off – sadly.

        Sometimes too when people don’t get enough drama in their lives they go and make it.

        Don’t worry about venting it’s a necessary thing and we all do it, you don’t need to apologise for it. And the commas? I’ve recently had to kick a fairly bad hyphen fetish and I find I’m sticking comas in everywhere.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Jeff/neighsayer November 16, 2019 / 2:13 pm

          Ha. Kyle’s working class critique of the semi-colon hurts me; I love them! But it’s working on me – more and more dashes instead. I have this idea of embracing it and writing an entire big-ass novel in a single run-on sentence, I should at least start, have a go and see if I can do a whole page. Six line paragraphs I already do, I think. Ulysses felt a little like that.
          Interesting, the themes that grab you – the Moby Dick one, obsession, and this vastness – well, plenty of vastness in Moby Dick, come to think of it . . .
          parallels, but these areas I haven’t thought about, or in those words. I guess I’ve been stuck wishing folks would leave me the fuck alone my whole life – careful what you wish for – is that like talking about the vastness?

          Yes, I think so now, and my failure to “do my work” left me unequipped to see even such craziness, would be the normal pop-psych way to see it and sure. I am forced to wonder whether the ladies that raised me weren’t also just that bad, that makes sense in that paradigm, right? It’s making it hard to stay in touch with my sister(s). I’m thinking back, trying to find someone who didn’t expect nothing else from me but male abuse, and apparently hate me preemptively and it’s a losing game. Just today, for the first time, I fantasized about a partner long enough to think about if I lost them, like the first time I thought that far ahead since my troubles, and oh boy, not feeling like I’d handle that very well right now. Starting to get horny and lonely and realizing I am not remotely thinking about letting anybody in, like ever again, so, ambivalent.
          Told a very grownup joke on Twitter the other day about how a lady talked nice to me at a store and in trying to smile at her, I, tense and crazy, felt my stupid eyes drop below her face and blew it immediately – like some incel child and not a father, maybe a grandfather, for all I know now, complete with STDs. I’m so thirsty I can’t stop shaking to hold the cup!

          Cheers. You’re a friend.



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